enJOY it is one of my very favorite blogs. I relate to Elise. I relate to coffee & creativity. I relate to the love of the water. I can relate to missing a military man. I relate to yoga. I relate to the magic of quotes & words. I relate to strategically organized bookshelves. I relate to instagram obsession! I love the honesty of her blog. There has yet to be a post I thought wasn't worth my time. And that's why I am sharing it with you! I hope you enJOY it, too.

[all photo credit to elise & her blog]

Whoa. What a good week on the interwebs! I had a really hard time choosing posts not to include! Everyone was so insightful and inspiring - I love it. I also needed it. It was an up and down sort of week ending with a Saturday off that was SO FULL. 

I did yoga and drank coffee and had real life talk with my boss. I walked along the beach and watched the surfers surf and the water surround me. I drank mimosas at lunch and shopped for things that smelled wonderful. I had lovely dinner with lovely people and half priced wine. And I cried while watching Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - the kind of cry where the tears stream down your face as if it's completely natural for you to be openly weeping.

I hope you had a day that was that good, too. You can tell me all about it if you want. I'd like that.

But until then, here are the Links I Love:

1. There was a day this week where I wasn't happy. It's ok to not be ok. Eat a macaroon and let it go.

2. I am obsessed with yoga. Last year, I mastered Crow Pose, so maybe 2012 is the year of the headstand? [Lululemon has a showcase store in Charleston. It's the cutest little place ever.]

3. Writing help. Real writing advice. Direction and inspiration for Bold Types.

4. I am not the best at giving or receiving compliments. I'm self-conscious and awkward, but I try to be good at it anyway. Here are a few tips & tricks if you have a hard time with it, too!

5. I WANT TO JUICE CLEANSE.

6. Oh dear goodness. Trust me, you want to listen to this podcast. I wouldn't steer you wrong and neither would Joy & Tracy. 

7. A friend sent me this link because she loved it. She thought I would, too. And I did. My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with hope. Love is alive. 

"They’ve set the bar high, but there’s no need to lower it; this isn’t limbo, it’s life. Nothing good has ever come easy, and I love a good challenge." 

8. Elise reminded me to be in the present. What are you doing right now? I would love to know.

9. Clearly, I will soon be making Raw Chocolate Milk. And I'm going to want to store it in a mason jar.

And my final piece of information: Listen to Lana Del Ray - Video Games.

Gosh, I hope you enjoy these links as much as I do. And I hope you enjoy reading this post as much as I loved writing it.

xo.

"If you can't connect with yourself, how are you going to connect with someone else? If you have walls built, then you'll never be able to communicate and find out that you're not alone." - my yoga instructor, Caryn.

day twenty six via instagram

Today,

I wore my new cardigan. Hi, Cardigan! I like you.

I let myself get overwhelmed.
I don't think I'll make that mistake again.

Then I walked around and ate macaroons for lunch.
That part I would definitely do again.

For dinner, I ate at a bar.
Reuben + Duck Fat Fries + Purple Haze.

(I really love Abita beers.)

I also scored some produce from a box.
Thank you, Wellness Group!

Someone described me as "exhausted looking".
I have to find a way to combat that. More water & green smoothies?

Oh sleep.
I could do that, too.

This time last year, I was quitting my job and beginning a new one. I was also learning about Florence + The Machine and how to make chicken soup from scratch. Oh how the time flies!

Tomorrow, I need to pay bills, finish laundry, call Megan, go to yoga, paint my nails, visit the brother, read and bake cookies. At least. I also need hair product. Feel free to remind me of these things randomly throughout the day.

Listen to Origins - Tennis and We Are Young - Fun.

I have posted this before, but it's definitely the sort of topic that has been up for debate a lot recently with someone I know. I'm of the belief that when the time is right, you'll know. Fate will take you where you need to go or keep you where you need to be. It will open your eyes and your heart to the right person. (After you make yourself ready to be open to such things...)


That's not to say be a hermit. That's also not to say go all out crazy while you wait. I think there's a happy medium.


But until the moment finally comes, grow your own avocado tree. And chin up!


LORELAI: Someday you'll meet someone, and you'll just know it’s right. You won't want to hesitate. You'll just know.

RORY: I hope so.

LORELAI: I really do believe it.

RORY: So I guess no avocado trees.

LORELAI: Well, no avocado tree.

RORY: You know, I think I'll get my own avocado tree.

LORELAI: See? You could get your own cherry tree, get your own peanut tree, just have peanut butter all day long.

RORY: Peanuts don't grown on trees. They grow under the ground.

LORELAI: Whatever. My point is you can have anything you want.

RORY: Oh, yes. It’s wide open.

LORELAI: What do you mean, peanuts don't grow on trees?

RORY: Mom, trust me. I'm a college graduate.


xo.


(PS. Part of/most of this script sounds strange out of context. Go watch Gilmore Girls!)

via everyday musings

"Take this time to breathe deep and let whatever is on your mind go. You can't make someone do something. You can't make something work. Sometimes, you literally have to just let it go. That doesn't mean give up. It means let it go." - My yoga teacher, Harriott.

twloha. [subject: me, photo credit: katie gandy]

I've decided to turn Top 5 Friday into "Links I Love". Why? I don't like the constraints I put on myself for Top 5 Friday. It's both a limit and a deadline. No thanks. So, welcome to the first edition of Links I Love! I just couldn't make up my mind, so it took me all weekend to narrow it down from the hundreds of posts I probably read this week.

Enjoy!

1. Sometimes you need an attitude adjustment or a perspective shift. Sometimes life seems glass half empty, but you can definitely make it half full.

"You'll do fine. People have phenomenal capacity." // Project Life Week 2

2. I am slowly but surely learning this trait - How to Say No (Without Being an Asshole).

3. An old friend and I discussed the idea of my blogging "seriously" or maybe writing professionally one day. This post on Organizing Inspiration may be an excellent place to start.

4. This week, Black Eiffel hit me with two motivating posts. One about Pretty Closets to jump start my cleaning project! And another about Alt Summit and Up & Coming Blogs - the inspiration is endless!

5. We often think about the things we wish were or could do. If you make a list, it might come true. A lot of these things are the kind of woman I want to be, too.

6. Meg also reposted this Dear Sugar post. It's quite intimate. "What you resolve will need to be resolved again".

7. Oh hi, Blue Print Cleanse. This is just another reason to convince me to spend my life savings on a juice cleanse. Thanks, Nicole!

8. Secrets don't make friends - especially if you tell ones that don't belong to you. End of story.

9. Once I make my closet pretty, I will be hitting the pantry. How could I not want to after seeing these before & after pantry photos?!

10. Gentlemint - Pinterest for boys.

11. This moved me to tears - Why I love Jesus, but Hate Religion.

12. Find your Daily Dose of Pretty at The Beauty Department. I realize this is incredibly girly.

13. Apple just changed the game. Again. Watching the iBooks Textbooks video made me want to go back to high school. This is how we do.

PS. I just found out my dear friends Charles & Myron had a free range chicken named after me at the Keegan Filion Farms Barn Raising today - how fantastic & flattering!

But seriously...

Listen to this song because I almost got into an accident Shazam-ing it.

And this one, too. It almost made me cry on Gossip Girl.

Haters gonna hate.

You're welcome.

I'll trade the moon for the sun, but this feeling for no one.

Do One Thing Everyday That Scares You.

Go back to school. Make a new friend. Join the military. Quit your job & get a new one. Write a song. Read a book. Rock out in your car. Stand alone. Say what you mean. Dye your hair. Hug someone. Let someone hug you. Get married. Have a baby. Ask a question. Wear purple eyeliner. Say NO. Say YES. Keep your mouth shut. Call an old friend. Do a new workout. Go to the doctor. File your own taxes. Take care of someone. Start a new business venture. Move to a new city. Try a different food. Treat yo self. Cut up your credit card. Wake up early. Go to a concert. Laugh at yourself. 

I am constantly in awe of the things we can push ourselves to do. My friends and family are quite inspiring in that respect. I love that the people in my life are constantly moving forward/re-arranging their lives to be better. Sometimes that brings them very close. Sometimes that takes them very far. But luckily never more than a comfortable phone conversation away.

What are you doing right now that scares you? Or is about to change your life?

And the only solution was to stand and fight.

My friend Tony has been through so much in his life and despite everything manages to have such a beautiful perspective on life. It's truly inspiring.

"And when I look back upon times that should be painful, all I see is beauty from the Love that I have received. I leave you with an applicable Mumford quote: "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. And where you invest your Love, you invest your Life." - Tony Alessandro

I am blessed enough to find myself in the same place as him. It's hard to keep yourself down when you find yourself surrounded by such a large and supportive cheering section. There will never be a way to repay my family and friends for everything their love has done for my life.

working on a resolution // via instagram 

So, this is a pretty revealing post and I am about to admit a couple of things about myself that may sound bad and/or cocky, but I don't mean to be that way. I am really a nice person... I swear.

A few (yeah. yeah. over three...) years ago, I broke up with someone who crushed me. (It happens, I know.) Most people get over that sort of thing quickly... I did not. I think I may have, but up until now I was like a serial dater. Literally, I would go out with guys one to four times, then find something horribly wrong with them or the situation and then find a way to stop seeing them/just ignore them.

Either I didn't find them entertaining or intelligent or attractive or nice enough. Or I was too busy or tired or bored. I always managed to wiggle my way out of the dating situation and leave them hanging.

How terrible is that? I KNOW. I AM SUCH A BAD PERSON.

But I wasn't ready. I didn't know them. I didn't trust them. And I didn't want 

to. At all.

via instagram

So, for three years, I have basically been leading guys on and mentally dumping them before they have a chance. To be fair, I have dated some real douchebags, but I have also dated some really (really) nice guys, too. (Hi, I'm really sorry if you're reading this....) I let them all loose.

Recently, I have gone out with a few different fellas and have mentally pulled the plug - as per my usual (subconscious) plan. (I swear it's not my intent when I start going out with them.) But for some reason, this time... there was this one guy where it didn't seem quite fair for me to do that. More so, I didn't want to stop talking to him. (Ok, so that's sort of a lie. I did try to pull a fast one and ditch him, but then my friends called me out on it.) 

At first, I sort of freaked out. He was super attentive. I got a book on our first date and my favorite flowers on the third. I got texts at least every morning and every night and we visited each other every weekend. I was really overwhelmed and ready to bail, but after a lot of thought, and being called out, I decided not to... I found him to be thoughtful, intelligent, attractive and funny. All at one time. That's crazy, right?

And then you know what happened? He did the same thing to me that I did to all the other guys. I got let go. Karma, eh? Except he was much nicer about it than I have ever been and he even explained himself to me. (I'm just a bitch when I do it - I never give an explanation.) And while the reasons are neither here nor there or for any sort of public forum... Ouch. 

(This part is going to sound cocky....) This is the first time in three years, that I have been upset about a guy. I mean, I have always been the one to cut if off and that leaves you feeling pretty confident. But now, whoa. I don't know what to do. I'm not upset with him. I'm not upset with myself even. I am... disappointed? Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it at the moment.

What I do know is that I am happy to know that for the first time in over three years that I let myself feel something and be open to the idea of someone else. That is such a huge thing for me - even though I definitely got shut down. 

I guess I just learned a lot about myself through this whole experience.  

I also learned that I should never feel like I am convincing someone that it's a good idea to date me. My friend said to me "I want you happy like in the movies." And I feel like if he feels that way that someone who wants to date me should feel even more than that. Clearly, that was not going to happen in this situation.

I spent a lot of time in my life dedicating myself to someone else. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely wanted to do that at that point in my life, but now I know that it should be reciprocated. I should only be dating guys who are head over heals for me. 

I should never settle.

So, that's what I learned today.

It hurts when someone says they don't want you whether you've known them for three years or three months. You need to treat people the way you want to be treated. And, above all else, remember how much you deserve and never think that second place is an ok place to find yourself. 

[Disclaimer: I am not mad at this guy. I do not hold this decision against him. He did nothing wrong. It's not a big deal. We may even turn out to be friends - certainly stranger things have happened.]

I feel like the two weeks (ah!) of the New Year went by crazy fast. I have had so much going on - work, being sick, cooking, baking, eating delicious meals, sleeping enough, not sleeping enough, training at the gym, getting speeding tickets, reading books, plant care taking, getting an iPhone, hanging out with friends, meetings fellas, discussing life, building relationships. Everyday, I learn a little bit more about myself and then throw it all into the next day.

Life is so uncertain. There's not really time to dwell on it. You just have to do what you feel you want to do. Put yourself out there. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. It's ok. You have balance happiness and pain.

Deep, right? I think it's my Happiness Project Calendar. Or I'm just getting wiser. Or I'm too tired to think about uncomfortable things.

via instagram

So, without further ado, Top 5 Friday! I skipped last week, but these ones are thoughtful for you...

1. Like cheese & wine, relationships get better with time. I can't even begin to tell you how much I liked this post about relationships. Just a few points to consider.

2. Thought Catalog brings a spot on post about Things We Need to Be Happy. Read it and tell me it's not true. I dare you.

3. I just recently discovered Lululemon & their blog. Love. This post about challenging yoga was both informative & entertaining. Make sure you watch Sh!t Yogis Say.

4. It's time for January's Network of Nice Hook Ups!

5. My mom suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder and I've always suspected that I have a part of those genetics. I'm longing for summer already! Here are a few tips & tricks to beat the winter blues! And I was so interested in this that I googled it and here are a few more ideas!

Today, someone handed me a post it. (I love post its.) And on it were the words "Youth Lagoon". He told me that it had been too long since we talked about music and that was his gift to me. And now it's my gift to you. Enjoy.

I have more dreams than you have posters of your favorite teams. You'll never talk me out of this.

What a day. Thursday.

This morning I went to work at 6 am because there was a man with a crane who was shutting down the street to put in the air conditioning unit. Crazy, right?

Today wasn't exactly what I thought it'd be, but I guess it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

It was actually a short day, by time standards, but it was busy and a lot went down at work. I did take a nice little stroll around downtown, then I got my eyebrows done. I went to the Lululemon Showroom today - love it and they have FREE YOGA on Saturday mornings! And when I came home, I made these yummy little energy bites...

Vegan No-Bake Energy Bites

1 c. oatmeal

1/2 c. almond/peanut butter

1/3 c. honey

1 c. coconut flakes (I used the big organic kind.)

1/2 c. ground flaxseed

1/2 c. vegan chocolate chips

1 tsp. vanilla

Mix all ingredients together. Refrigerate for an hour. Roll into balls. Store in an airtight container.

I had a really difficult time not eating it all while it was still just a mix in the bowl. Ok, well, it's still a mix in the bowl, actually. I should have used smaller coconut flakes. It tastes delicious though. Breakfast? I think so.

I also got to do my first unstable workout at the gym. That means no solid ground. That also means jumping around in circles on bosu balls in front of strangers. I'll feel all of this tomorrow I'm sure.

And I may or may not have listened to Bass Down Low all day. Ok, I did.

The next two days it's just me at work - one half of the team. Then Saturday is Food Truck Rodeo! And Sunday I am off!

Get excited. I am. One day at a time. 

via instagram

When I spend time with my dad, we always have thought provoking conversation. He normally doesn't give a shit about things - he'll tell you that - so when he feels strongly about a topic, our discussion is always animated.

Tonight, we went to dinner downtown and talked about relationships. I guess more specifically past relationships. And we talked about how much things hurt when they happen and how much they hurt when they follow you. And the thing is that you never know how long they will follow you. That's the part that sucks. Sometimes it just takes time - in my case nearly three years - or it just takes the right person to get you out of the hole you dug for yourself or a little bit of both.

But eventually you get to the point where there is no longer any regret. 

Do you wish things had worked out? Of course. Life is always easier when things work out. But do you wish things were different now? No. All the time and the people and the experiences have made you who you are and you've learned from everything. It was just ridiculously painful along the way.

That's the way it works. We both agreed on that.

I like being able to have these kind of real conversations with my dad. We were never close when I was younger, but the more we talk about life, the more I realize I'm a lot like him - I just dust my house more than he does.

Growing up is crazy.

Even the stars they burn. Some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn.

I worry a lot about things I can't control. I let people & ideas take up rental space in my head. It's a daily struggle for me to stop thinking and let go. I think that's why I love yoga so much. It's 75 minutes of letting go and focusing on my strength. You cannot do yoga when you're focusing on other things. You will most likely topple over. You cannot do yoga if you're not strong. You cannot do yoga if you don't believe you can. It's 75 minutes of pushing myself - where I focus on the positives of myself and the world around me.

It's lovely.

If you're not doing yoga, I highly recommend that you do.

So, my favorite things about TODAY: the sunshine, yoga, green tea lemonade from Starbucks, work dynamics, Dave Matthews Band, chocolate coconut milk, and this Black Pepper Bergamot candle I'm burning.

xo.

Be in love with your life. 

Every detail of it. - Jack Kerouac

Things to do in Twenty Twelve:

1. Be outdoors. Go kayaking! Go camping! Hi, Glacier National Park!
2. Visit my lovely Megan in San Diego! Hey Cali Cali!
3. Buy an iPhone, yo.
4. Do a cleanse - like the Blue Print Cleanse!
5. Pay off Olivia the Jetta! Holla!
6. Go through my boxes in my parents' attic. I promised.
7. Keep blogging.
8. Spend less time on the interwebs. (I'm not sure how that will work...)
9. Spend a week in June in Hattiesburg with friends.
10. Learn all 67 Lominger competencies.
11. Finish The Hunger Games series.
12. Yoga (at least) once a week.
13. Think more before I speak, but still be honest.
14. Let the important people in my life know that they're important.
15. Bake half of the recipes from the Joy the Baker Cookbook.
16. Maybe get a tattoo? Eh? (Mom & Dad, I hope you're not reading!)
17. Buy a plant & keep it alive.

There are probably more. Like SKYDIVING! I believe that may be on the roomie to-do list.

Really, overall, I just want to simplify. My life. My work. My mind. My home. And I want to BE HERE - to be present in the moments of my life. I have a tendency to overcomplicate and overcommit to plans. I don't wanna do that. I have to be able to say no and focus on the things & people who add to my life, not detract from it.

Anyone else have any goals/resolutions/things to do during this year?

Here is a good post about resolutions for 20-somethings. I think it applies to 30-somethings. Also, it applies if you have FB/any social media or if you watch Parks & Rec. Or if you're a person who is living in this era.

Also, in 2012, I will go to court for my speeding ticket. Oy to the vey. Luckily, I am participating in No Drink January so there was no chance at all of drinking & driving. Call a cab, friends.

Hey, why do I like the song It Girl? And have you heard the new Jason Mraz song? Listen up!

Copyright Julian Bialowas

Well, here's another way to look back at my year. I finished going through my 2011 blog and decided to highlight some of my best posts/memories.

January:
I saw Little Chickies get married and got snowed into Columbia! And quit my job for a new one. I thought & talked a lot about change and what's important. All while discovering one of my new favorite bands and making chicken soup.

February:
I spent time being healthy and cooking. I thought about future plans and tried to focus on being a leader. I had a couple of reality checks and a really hard day at work - perspective is a crazy thing. I tried really hard to be positive and learn from others.

March:
This month was full of beer & baking. I also got my very first mac and discovered Parks & Recreation! I fixed my car with tie dyed duct tape when I backed into a wall. I tried to remember to live in the present and be full of sunshine.

April:
I guess April showers bring May flowers? I was a little down and out for most of this month. Then I read some good words and made my way to NYC for a bit - what a magical place.

May:
I revisited the idea of being present and balancing it with what's next. And sort of decided that life is complete with caffeine and Apple products, yes? Or maybe waffles, work & friends? But then my brother got married and I remembered that the greatest of all of these is love - so happy for their life together!

June: 
I turned out to be a crazy person this month. And I seriously doubted my decision making abilities.  But I painted my nails minty green and had lots of good & productive days the rest of the month!

July:
I definitely didn't finish any of these books. But I did a lot of living - like going to the beach, kayaking, seeing David Gray and drinking lots of iced coffee! I watched an amazing movie - HappyThankYouMorePlease - that I highly recommend. The Espinosas got chickens! It was all just really good. Maybe July was my best month.

August:
I turned another year older! And I took a lot of photos for The August Break. You'll also notice from those photos that I moved and saw Jack's Mannequin and discovered nail stickers! We also experienced some crazy forces of nature!

September:
I remembered September 11 - after 10 years, it's still an experience that's fresh in my mind. I also spent a lot of time in the kitchen and listening to Spotify - love! I began my Top 5 Friday posts which are both fun and stressful for me at times. And I took myself on a date to see 50/50 - it had been too long.

October:
Rachel came to visit and we loved my city together. Steve Jobs & Chef Pernell both passed away - two dynamic influences upon my life. I kept on with Top 5 Friday. And I spent wonderful & precious time with some of my very best friends whose constant presence I miss. But then I remember what amazing friends I have right here! How did I get so lucky?

November:
I RAN A HALF MARATHON! Shut up, I know. I'm surprised I'm still alive. Other than that, I read a lot of blogs and shared a lot of posts with you all. The best was probably Marcel the Shell With Shoes On. I kept myself exhausted with new people coming and going.  Then I gave thanks, survived Black Friday and got in the holiday spirit!

December:
This past month was a test, I think. I'm still not sure if I passed or not. A lot of my blog posts were Top 5 Lists because I didn't have it in me to post original thoughts. I tried to decide what sort of person I am. And not let myself get down even when I felt that way. I also drank and baked a lot. But overall, the month was very productive and I certainly learned quite a bit.

My roommate asked me if I had learned anything in hindsight by doing this? Yes, yes I have. I am an incredibly positive person who sometimes has a tendency to over-analyze or worry. Oy. I love my friends and my family more than anything and I depend on them for a lot even though I don't like to admit it. I like to see life through other people's eyes, but sometimes get too involved in my own. Also, I have a caffeine problem that I will probably never fix. And I really need an iPhone.

I am also reminded that we have nothing if not belief & hope - in ourselves, in each other, and in a Higher Power. So there's that - and thank goodness.

(Photo Credits :: Pink of Perfection)

The Twenty Eleven To-Do List

I discovered so many wonderful things in 2011. I grew all sorts of new relationships with people and tried really hard to cultivate some of the existing ones. I spent way more time with my family - we've been through a lot, but I think it's made us all a lot closer.

I would like to thank the Joy the Baker Podcast, Spotify, yoga, Sally Hansen nail stickers, Face Time/Apple products, Pinterest and Parks & Recreation all for making their way into my life.

So, at the beginning of 2011, I made a to-do list.... Now, it's time to see if I crossed everything off.

...

I did finish LOST! And was still confused... But I miss it.

I did change my address, but then I moved again, so I guess I need to again. Haha.

I heart my Costco Card.

I kept a handful of break up box items, but threw 99% of it away. My white whale.

I didn't purge. I have a crap-ton of boxes in my parent's attic. Sorry, mom!

I'm much better about getting up on time and now I have a Clocky - it's so annoying, but super effective!

I didn't finish any of those books! I did finish books though. Now I am reading The Hunger Games, Steve Jobs biography, and The Happiness Project - still!

I did my very own taxes in 2011!! And used them to fix Olivia and buy a plane ticket. I can't wait to do them this year. What to do?

NYC with Rachel was so much fun. I love her and that city.

My wonderful brother married his lovely wife over Labor Day Weekend. It was beautiful and full of love. I wish them all the happiness life has to offer two people.

I never joined my CSA but I did start shopping at The Vegetable Bin and Farmer's Market more! Baby steps, I suppose.

I definitely baked a lot in 2011. My triumph? Salted Caramel Cheesecake Pie with a Gingersnap Crust - from scratch. Cooking though? Not as much. More than in 2010 - there were pizzas and pastas and I made chicken soup from scratch! Ok, maybe I did cook a bit.

Pork is delicious. And, I don't eat that much beef, but I did have my very first Five Guys burger!

I kept my gym membership to stay in shape. I almost got rid of it, but then I ran a half marathon and realized how much I hate running and need to go to the gym. Oy to the vey.

I was oh so happy to have health insurance! I went to the doctor! I started getting prescriptions! I even started free therapy! And this year I'm going to have my ankle examined since I hurt it during my half marathon. Yay healthcare!

I definitely set up my 401k and I'm putting in as much as I can and having it matched as much as I can. I should be ballin' when I'm old.

I would say I am definitely more in control of my finances. I owe way less now than I ever have before! And I have a budget. It's good.

I started looking into another degree. You may remember the MAPP program. Master's in Applied Positive Psychology. That's still up in the air. I'm just not really willing to move someplace cold and pay all of that money right now. But I feel like it would be such an amazing program to be involved in.

Oh, crow pose? I got that. No big deal.

I am still so very bad at expressing my feelings. I'm sorry. Really.

And my new job has been quite the journey! I have been turned down for several promotions and received one. I have beat myself up a lot, but have also learned to have infinite amounts of patience with myself and with others. I learn something new everyday and build relationships with customers and my team through every interaction. I am always challenged and never bored - and I'm pretty sure that will always be the case. I think that makes me pretty lucky.

...

I think I've learned a lot about myself along the way. I have my strengths, but I definitely have my opportunities to grow. I appreciate everyone who has been with me through all of it. You mean the world to me.

And I don't always blog or talk about the sad and scary things that life throws at us, but I think about those things often. So, to all the hardships we've experienced this year... and to all the people we've lost... I appreciate all that you've taught me - for shaping who I am and making me want to try a little bit harder than I did the day before.

As soon as I'm ready, I'll post my list for 2012. I'm not sure what I expect out of myself or the next 363ish days, but we'll see!

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." - Neil Gaiman