Monday, March 02, 2015

It's been a long time since I sat in front of my computer to even think about blogging.

Life gets so bogged down with... well, life. We often let ourselves get swallowed whole and that's how we disappear. We get stuck in the bog and sink further with every misstep. I've had five jobs since 2013 and have found myself further and further away from where I want to be. I'm stuck in the bog of figuring out what I really want and what I really need. Is it more free time? Is it a better salary? Is it better coworkers? It might just be a good, swift kick in the ass from no one other than myself.

I've tried different jobs. I've tried more responsibility and less responsibility. I've tried throwing myself into homemaker. I've tried diet + exercise programs. I've tried identifying myself as a wife and dog mom. I am the summation of all these things. But I'm still not where I want to be.
(Where do I want to be? I don't know. I can't truly answer that, but I don't think it really has anything to do with work. I digress...)

What I really want to talk about is where I am right now... WHO I am right now.

I am a child of God.

And it has taken me a lot of missteps in the bog to remember I'm supposed to be listening to Fatherly advice, teachings, words of wisdom, and love.

"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord..." Acts 3:19-20

I'm not murdering or stealing, but I've let things come before the Lord in my life. I've not followed after Him or let Him guide my steps. And where have I found myself? I'm not in a bad place, but I'm not in the right place.

This last week, I've been doing the Lent Devotional from She Reads Truth - Jesus, Keep Me Near The Cross. It has been so dear to my heart and the words have been truths I needed to hear, truths I've needed to share, truths I've needed to heed.

So this is where I am. This is where I repent and began again.
I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.