Tuesday, April 29, 2008

trying to figure out what to do with these memories

Remember all those hours laughing on the floor?
Those days of doing nothing felt like nothing did before?

I can't stop sneezing. All day. It's awful.

Today was free scoop day!

And I Nine's new album came out. I like being supportive.

I'm reliving all sorts of college memories right now.

I'm working two jobs. And my car needs to be fixed.

And it's almost Kt's Birthday!

And I miss Matt. A lot. I'll see him one day and it'll be magical. Yes, that is the correct adjective.

This is completely random.

I wonder where you've gone. Have you fallen in a black hole?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

but i don't care what they say

Truth time... I like watching Vh1 top twenty. For serious. The new Matchbox 20 video releases a million balloons.

I coffee shop stalked today. Kudu. Metto. Starbucks. Dunkin Doughnuts. So many prices to compare. So much caffeine to intake. Ack. Ack. Ack.

From The Geography of Bliss:

"I think America is one of the most stressed countries in the world. You think you need money to buy happiness. You hire people to do everything, even to mow your lawn. Here [Thailand], even wealthy people do that themselves. We think it's fun."

"... they would make thousands and thousands of paper cranes and drop them from airplanes as a peace gesture. 'They basically bombed the south with these paper cranes,' says Scott, incredulously. 'It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.'"

... But nothing’s greater than the rush that comes with your embrace.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

they will see us waving from such great heights

I'm thinking its a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.

from: http://wreckthisjournal.com/

This book was created for anyone who has ever had trouble starting/keeping or finishing a journal/sketchbook. By forcing ourselves to wreck it on purpose, the “journal as an object” loses it’s preciousness, and allows us the feeling of completion. This book was created for every person who has looked at other artist’s journals and said, “I wish I could do that. I’ve started dozens of them but didn’t stick with it.” or, “But the journal itself is so beautiful, I don’t want to wreck it with my ideas/handwriting/drawings.” Or, “I feel pressured to write something good.”

In this book good does not exist. The goal is to fill it up, to shift your perception of the blank page and the journal itself into a place for experimentation. Into a place where you just get stuff out onto the page. A place to start working against your better judgment. To do those things you were taught to never do (make a mess, destroy, fold down pages, write in books, play with dirt). This book IS the place.

Each page of Wreck This Journal is filled with prompts telling you how to systematically ‘destroy’ the entire book.

True, it may seem like a stretch, but its thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away, when I'm missing you to death.

i'm on the right side with you

Sunday, April 20, 2008

i feel it all. i feel it all. i love you more.

I don't know what I knew before, but now I know I want to win the war.

Life is (generally) [quite] good.

There are a few things beyond my control. Way beyond my control. Things that I would like to have control of, but... I don't. So, I will work hard (yay visual standards!). And I will learn more (like how you win a match in tennis). And I will practice patience. And I will wear more sunscreen when I spend all day outside (ouch).

I'm going to get coffee.

No one likes to take a test. Sometimes we don't pull or flex. Put your weight against the door. Kick drum on the basement floor.

Friday, April 11, 2008

oh crystal ball, crystal ball

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball. Save us all, tell me life is beautiful, mirror, mirror on the wall.

It has been over a week since I blogged. Wowza.

This morning Matt called to tell me good morning and give me compliments (really, he is getting a lot today because he's an amazing airman and is getting lots of awards). And Tom brought me chocolate covered strawberries at work. Plus, I got off work at noon. Today has been good so far.

I'm living downtown again. I like it. It's weird being alone at night though.

It's weird to share your personal space with someone - to take another person and their habits and quirks and mix them with your own habits and quirks. It works somehow though. That's good.

Poor CiCi is quite sick. She may have lymphoma. All I actually know is that her joints/muscles aren't working very well and its sad. I wonder if she's in pain.

Today I talked to Matt Jones, Matt Carrowan, David and Rachel. I love all four of those people very much. Sometimes I'm scared of being phased out of people's lives. I hope that never actually happens.

I can't wait for June and Matt and Bonnaroo. I can't wait for July for Dave. I had my espresso machine re-hauled. Starbucks has a new roast that I haven't tried yet. I might be buying a pretty and expensive purse. The Farmer's Market opens tomorrow! Explosions in the Sky is playing tomorrow, too! And I strongly recommend Abita Strawberry Harvest.

I guess lots of other things have been going on with work and personally, but I'm not feeling like pulling it all out right now, so you may never ever hear about them. Sorry.

I want to live a simpler life. Less stuff. Less responsibility. I want to move and be free to move again if I want. Sort of like college, but without the classes holding me back. Maybe I want to go back to school. Maybe I don't. I don't think I miss classes. I think I miss Columbia and my freedom and my friends.

So, really, I have no clue what the hell I'm doing with the rest of my life. Hmph. Any ideas? I'm totally open to suggestions...

"College was easier than life. I'd like it back now." - Rachel

Oh, crystal ball, hear my song. I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong, so put me where I belong.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

and it rained all night and then all day

Six word biography: Living on caffeine and Thom Yorke.

My espresso machine is being fixed at 7:30am...

This month, I'm buying only food and necessities. This is difficult.

I can see you, but I can never reach you.