Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I spend a lot of time thinking about why we do what we do and why we don't do what we don't do. I like to do lists and checking things off. I plan my days with detail - workouts, grocery stores, visiting people, coffee breaks. It gives me a sense of control & stability. When things happen outside of my iCal, I get confused...

I'm a horrible decision maker - big or small. It takes me forever and I always wonder about my other option. Hmph. I also usually wonder about my motive - did I make the decision because I wanted it or because it was the right thing or because someone else thought it was a good idea? I think, in general, we forget to make decisions that make us happy or we don't make moves because they're scary. Is that a good way to live?

Tell me, please, when was the last time you made a big/life-changing decision for yourself and not for someone else? When was the last time you made a completely crazy decision that turned out for the best? And when you make most of your decisions what is influencing you the most?


beth said...

without a doubt i think it pays to be crazy sometimes and take a risk, follow your heart and make decisions based on intuition sometimes. xx

Charles Robinson said...

In 2007 I had reached my breaking point at work, and within a couple of months I fled the toxic environment for a place where I'm less miserable. I still wasn't happy because my heart wasn't in it.

I entered an essay contest in the Fall of 2010 that led to me winning a scholarship to attend culinary school. I dove into culinary school, only to jump right out. This all led to a major life epiphany and a change in my focus and direction. I did all that first an foremost for me, because I wasn't happy.

My next crazy leap will be to move to Mexico and become a personal chef. It might work, or I might fall on my face. Or I might find some other path I don't even know exists that is a better fit for me.

I have made choices based on what is appropriate socially. That's part of the give and take of being human. You can't be selfish all the time.

It has taken me a long time to reach this point of living in the ebb and flow, and I'm still not always comfortable with it. I think it's about being open and flexible and not stressing about the decisions you make. Nobody's going to die if you choose the wrong place to go to dinner. :-)