I feel like the two weeks (ah!) of the New Year went by crazy fast. I have had so much going on - work, being sick, cooking, baking, eating delicious meals, sleeping enough, not sleeping enough, training at the gym, getting speeding tickets, reading books, plant care taking, getting an iPhone, hanging out with friends, meetings fellas, discussing life, building relationships. Everyday, I learn a little bit more about myself and then throw it all into the next day.

Life is so uncertain. There's not really time to dwell on it. You just have to do what you feel you want to do. Put yourself out there. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. It's ok. You have balance happiness and pain.

Deep, right? I think it's my Happiness Project Calendar. Or I'm just getting wiser. Or I'm too tired to think about uncomfortable things.

via instagram

So, without further ado, Top 5 Friday! I skipped last week, but these ones are thoughtful for you...

1. Like cheese & wine, relationships get better with time. I can't even begin to tell you how much I liked this post about relationships. Just a few points to consider.

2. Thought Catalog brings a spot on post about Things We Need to Be Happy. Read it and tell me it's not true. I dare you.

3. I just recently discovered Lululemon & their blog. Love. This post about challenging yoga was both informative & entertaining. Make sure you watch Sh!t Yogis Say.

4. It's time for January's Network of Nice Hook Ups!

5. My mom suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder and I've always suspected that I have a part of those genetics. I'm longing for summer already! Here are a few tips & tricks to beat the winter blues! And I was so interested in this that I googled it and here are a few more ideas!

Today, someone handed me a post it. (I love post its.) And on it were the words "Youth Lagoon". He told me that it had been too long since we talked about music and that was his gift to me. And now it's my gift to you. Enjoy.

I have more dreams than you have posters of your favorite teams. You'll never talk me out of this.

What a day. Thursday.

This morning I went to work at 6 am because there was a man with a crane who was shutting down the street to put in the air conditioning unit. Crazy, right?

Today wasn't exactly what I thought it'd be, but I guess it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

It was actually a short day, by time standards, but it was busy and a lot went down at work. I did take a nice little stroll around downtown, then I got my eyebrows done. I went to the Lululemon Showroom today - love it and they have FREE YOGA on Saturday mornings! And when I came home, I made these yummy little energy bites...

Vegan No-Bake Energy Bites

1 c. oatmeal

1/2 c. almond/peanut butter

1/3 c. honey

1 c. coconut flakes (I used the big organic kind.)

1/2 c. ground flaxseed

1/2 c. vegan chocolate chips

1 tsp. vanilla

Mix all ingredients together. Refrigerate for an hour. Roll into balls. Store in an airtight container.

I had a really difficult time not eating it all while it was still just a mix in the bowl. Ok, well, it's still a mix in the bowl, actually. I should have used smaller coconut flakes. It tastes delicious though. Breakfast? I think so.

I also got to do my first unstable workout at the gym. That means no solid ground. That also means jumping around in circles on bosu balls in front of strangers. I'll feel all of this tomorrow I'm sure.

And I may or may not have listened to Bass Down Low all day. Ok, I did.

The next two days it's just me at work - one half of the team. Then Saturday is Food Truck Rodeo! And Sunday I am off!

Get excited. I am. One day at a time. 

via instagram

When I spend time with my dad, we always have thought provoking conversation. He normally doesn't give a shit about things - he'll tell you that - so when he feels strongly about a topic, our discussion is always animated.

Tonight, we went to dinner downtown and talked about relationships. I guess more specifically past relationships. And we talked about how much things hurt when they happen and how much they hurt when they follow you. And the thing is that you never know how long they will follow you. That's the part that sucks. Sometimes it just takes time - in my case nearly three years - or it just takes the right person to get you out of the hole you dug for yourself or a little bit of both.

But eventually you get to the point where there is no longer any regret. 

Do you wish things had worked out? Of course. Life is always easier when things work out. But do you wish things were different now? No. All the time and the people and the experiences have made you who you are and you've learned from everything. It was just ridiculously painful along the way.

That's the way it works. We both agreed on that.

I like being able to have these kind of real conversations with my dad. We were never close when I was younger, but the more we talk about life, the more I realize I'm a lot like him - I just dust my house more than he does.

Growing up is crazy.

Even the stars they burn. Some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn.

I worry a lot about things I can't control. I let people & ideas take up rental space in my head. It's a daily struggle for me to stop thinking and let go. I think that's why I love yoga so much. It's 75 minutes of letting go and focusing on my strength. You cannot do yoga when you're focusing on other things. You will most likely topple over. You cannot do yoga if you're not strong. You cannot do yoga if you don't believe you can. It's 75 minutes of pushing myself - where I focus on the positives of myself and the world around me.

It's lovely.

If you're not doing yoga, I highly recommend that you do.

So, my favorite things about TODAY: the sunshine, yoga, green tea lemonade from Starbucks, work dynamics, Dave Matthews Band, chocolate coconut milk, and this Black Pepper Bergamot candle I'm burning.

xo.

Be in love with your life. 

Every detail of it. - Jack Kerouac

Things to do in Twenty Twelve:

1. Be outdoors. Go kayaking! Go camping! Hi, Glacier National Park!
2. Visit my lovely Megan in San Diego! Hey Cali Cali!
3. Buy an iPhone, yo.
4. Do a cleanse - like the Blue Print Cleanse!
5. Pay off Olivia the Jetta! Holla!
6. Go through my boxes in my parents' attic. I promised.
7. Keep blogging.
8. Spend less time on the interwebs. (I'm not sure how that will work...)
9. Spend a week in June in Hattiesburg with friends.
10. Learn all 67 Lominger competencies.
11. Finish The Hunger Games series.
12. Yoga (at least) once a week.
13. Think more before I speak, but still be honest.
14. Let the important people in my life know that they're important.
15. Bake half of the recipes from the Joy the Baker Cookbook.
16. Maybe get a tattoo? Eh? (Mom & Dad, I hope you're not reading!)
17. Buy a plant & keep it alive.

There are probably more. Like SKYDIVING! I believe that may be on the roomie to-do list.

Really, overall, I just want to simplify. My life. My work. My mind. My home. And I want to BE HERE - to be present in the moments of my life. I have a tendency to overcomplicate and overcommit to plans. I don't wanna do that. I have to be able to say no and focus on the things & people who add to my life, not detract from it.

Anyone else have any goals/resolutions/things to do during this year?

Here is a good post about resolutions for 20-somethings. I think it applies to 30-somethings. Also, it applies if you have FB/any social media or if you watch Parks & Rec. Or if you're a person who is living in this era.

Also, in 2012, I will go to court for my speeding ticket. Oy to the vey. Luckily, I am participating in No Drink January so there was no chance at all of drinking & driving. Call a cab, friends.

Hey, why do I like the song It Girl? And have you heard the new Jason Mraz song? Listen up!

Copyright Julian Bialowas

Well, here's another way to look back at my year. I finished going through my 2011 blog and decided to highlight some of my best posts/memories.

January:
I saw Little Chickies get married and got snowed into Columbia! And quit my job for a new one. I thought & talked a lot about change and what's important. All while discovering one of my new favorite bands and making chicken soup.

February:
I spent time being healthy and cooking. I thought about future plans and tried to focus on being a leader. I had a couple of reality checks and a really hard day at work - perspective is a crazy thing. I tried really hard to be positive and learn from others.

March:
This month was full of beer & baking. I also got my very first mac and discovered Parks & Recreation! I fixed my car with tie dyed duct tape when I backed into a wall. I tried to remember to live in the present and be full of sunshine.

April:
I guess April showers bring May flowers? I was a little down and out for most of this month. Then I read some good words and made my way to NYC for a bit - what a magical place.

May:
I revisited the idea of being present and balancing it with what's next. And sort of decided that life is complete with caffeine and Apple products, yes? Or maybe waffles, work & friends? But then my brother got married and I remembered that the greatest of all of these is love - so happy for their life together!

June: 
I turned out to be a crazy person this month. And I seriously doubted my decision making abilities.  But I painted my nails minty green and had lots of good & productive days the rest of the month!

July:
I definitely didn't finish any of these books. But I did a lot of living - like going to the beach, kayaking, seeing David Gray and drinking lots of iced coffee! I watched an amazing movie - HappyThankYouMorePlease - that I highly recommend. The Espinosas got chickens! It was all just really good. Maybe July was my best month.

August:
I turned another year older! And I took a lot of photos for The August Break. You'll also notice from those photos that I moved and saw Jack's Mannequin and discovered nail stickers! We also experienced some crazy forces of nature!

September:
I remembered September 11 - after 10 years, it's still an experience that's fresh in my mind. I also spent a lot of time in the kitchen and listening to Spotify - love! I began my Top 5 Friday posts which are both fun and stressful for me at times. And I took myself on a date to see 50/50 - it had been too long.

October:
Rachel came to visit and we loved my city together. Steve Jobs & Chef Pernell both passed away - two dynamic influences upon my life. I kept on with Top 5 Friday. And I spent wonderful & precious time with some of my very best friends whose constant presence I miss. But then I remember what amazing friends I have right here! How did I get so lucky?

November:
I RAN A HALF MARATHON! Shut up, I know. I'm surprised I'm still alive. Other than that, I read a lot of blogs and shared a lot of posts with you all. The best was probably Marcel the Shell With Shoes On. I kept myself exhausted with new people coming and going.  Then I gave thanks, survived Black Friday and got in the holiday spirit!

December:
This past month was a test, I think. I'm still not sure if I passed or not. A lot of my blog posts were Top 5 Lists because I didn't have it in me to post original thoughts. I tried to decide what sort of person I am. And not let myself get down even when I felt that way. I also drank and baked a lot. But overall, the month was very productive and I certainly learned quite a bit.

My roommate asked me if I had learned anything in hindsight by doing this? Yes, yes I have. I am an incredibly positive person who sometimes has a tendency to over-analyze or worry. Oy. I love my friends and my family more than anything and I depend on them for a lot even though I don't like to admit it. I like to see life through other people's eyes, but sometimes get too involved in my own. Also, I have a caffeine problem that I will probably never fix. And I really need an iPhone.

I am also reminded that we have nothing if not belief & hope - in ourselves, in each other, and in a Higher Power. So there's that - and thank goodness.

(Photo Credits :: Pink of Perfection)

The Twenty Eleven To-Do List

I discovered so many wonderful things in 2011. I grew all sorts of new relationships with people and tried really hard to cultivate some of the existing ones. I spent way more time with my family - we've been through a lot, but I think it's made us all a lot closer.

I would like to thank the Joy the Baker Podcast, Spotify, yoga, Sally Hansen nail stickers, Face Time/Apple products, Pinterest and Parks & Recreation all for making their way into my life.

So, at the beginning of 2011, I made a to-do list.... Now, it's time to see if I crossed everything off.

...

I did finish LOST! And was still confused... But I miss it.

I did change my address, but then I moved again, so I guess I need to again. Haha.

I heart my Costco Card.

I kept a handful of break up box items, but threw 99% of it away. My white whale.

I didn't purge. I have a crap-ton of boxes in my parent's attic. Sorry, mom!

I'm much better about getting up on time and now I have a Clocky - it's so annoying, but super effective!

I didn't finish any of those books! I did finish books though. Now I am reading The Hunger Games, Steve Jobs biography, and The Happiness Project - still!

I did my very own taxes in 2011!! And used them to fix Olivia and buy a plane ticket. I can't wait to do them this year. What to do?

NYC with Rachel was so much fun. I love her and that city.

My wonderful brother married his lovely wife over Labor Day Weekend. It was beautiful and full of love. I wish them all the happiness life has to offer two people.

I never joined my CSA but I did start shopping at The Vegetable Bin and Farmer's Market more! Baby steps, I suppose.

I definitely baked a lot in 2011. My triumph? Salted Caramel Cheesecake Pie with a Gingersnap Crust - from scratch. Cooking though? Not as much. More than in 2010 - there were pizzas and pastas and I made chicken soup from scratch! Ok, maybe I did cook a bit.

Pork is delicious. And, I don't eat that much beef, but I did have my very first Five Guys burger!

I kept my gym membership to stay in shape. I almost got rid of it, but then I ran a half marathon and realized how much I hate running and need to go to the gym. Oy to the vey.

I was oh so happy to have health insurance! I went to the doctor! I started getting prescriptions! I even started free therapy! And this year I'm going to have my ankle examined since I hurt it during my half marathon. Yay healthcare!

I definitely set up my 401k and I'm putting in as much as I can and having it matched as much as I can. I should be ballin' when I'm old.

I would say I am definitely more in control of my finances. I owe way less now than I ever have before! And I have a budget. It's good.

I started looking into another degree. You may remember the MAPP program. Master's in Applied Positive Psychology. That's still up in the air. I'm just not really willing to move someplace cold and pay all of that money right now. But I feel like it would be such an amazing program to be involved in.

Oh, crow pose? I got that. No big deal.

I am still so very bad at expressing my feelings. I'm sorry. Really.

And my new job has been quite the journey! I have been turned down for several promotions and received one. I have beat myself up a lot, but have also learned to have infinite amounts of patience with myself and with others. I learn something new everyday and build relationships with customers and my team through every interaction. I am always challenged and never bored - and I'm pretty sure that will always be the case. I think that makes me pretty lucky.

...

I think I've learned a lot about myself along the way. I have my strengths, but I definitely have my opportunities to grow. I appreciate everyone who has been with me through all of it. You mean the world to me.

And I don't always blog or talk about the sad and scary things that life throws at us, but I think about those things often. So, to all the hardships we've experienced this year... and to all the people we've lost... I appreciate all that you've taught me - for shaping who I am and making me want to try a little bit harder than I did the day before.

As soon as I'm ready, I'll post my list for 2012. I'm not sure what I expect out of myself or the next 363ish days, but we'll see!

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." - Neil Gaiman

I like the end of the year. It's full of perspective from the last 365 days, but it's also full of hope for the next 365 days. You are always surprised by what you did and never quite sure of what will happen next. It's scary and beautiful at the same time.

So, this Top 5 "Friday" is dedicated to 2011 - thanks for the memories! And also to 2012 - I can't wait to see what you have up your sleeve...

1. Are you making resolutions this year? Wonder how you're going to keep them? This post from A Beautiful Mess might be just what you need to read.

2. A wish for the New Year. I like that, too!

3. Have you ever picked a word/phrase for the year? It's a cool idea. I think this year I'll choose "Be Here Now" or "Simplify". But magic is really good word that worked for Elise Blaha this year.

4. I adore Olivia. I adore her travels. I adore her thoughtfulness and ability to find comfort all over the world even by herself. Her 2011 blog post is certainly inspiring.

5. I'm making this Hoppin' John recipe for good luck in 2012! If that's not your jam, then maybe these White Chocolate Peppermint Milkshakes will bring good luck to you!

6. I just love the idea of a Best of List.

And for good measure,

7. Hey lady - maybe your 2011 sent you spinning? It's ok. Maybe you're not crazy - read this post and be bold in 2012!

And when I get some more time, I'll tell you what I did in 2011 - I had a list, remember?! And I'll tell you about all of the awesome new things I discovered. And maybe I'll make a wish for 2012 while I am it.

And, if you have a chance, tell me all about yours! I'd love to hear it.

xo.

IT'S THE LAST DAY OF TWENTY ELEVEN!

Oh goodness gracious. It was an up & down year for me. How about you? Was this year all you hoped? Did you learn something new? Meet someone new? Go somewhere new?

It's not over quite yet... Do something fun today. Something relaxing. Something spontaneous. Anything to catapult you into your next 365 days...

I'm ending my year with some yoga. What you do is up to you, but... Enjoy! And I can't wait to see you in 2012!

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back. 
So shake him off.

let's make a wish. i like that.

There are so many holidays happening this time of year, so whatever your holiday of choice might be, may it be merry & bright and spent with those you hold dear because there is no greater gift than the love of family & friends. I forget that sometimes, but I hope you never do.

Credits: I forgot. Kudos to someone else though!

Yeah, it's not Friday... Again. It's Sunday. It's CHRISTMAS! Ah! It doesn't really feel like Christmas for some reason. I'm excited for family, friends, poker, portable bar, presents and birthday celebrations - my little sister will be twelve! Wowza. I feel old.

Anyway, it was a rough week. I learned a lot. Mostly about myself. Sometimes life throws us curve balls. Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you get scared. Sometimes you run away. But other times you smile, stand up to the world and put yourself out there. You get to pick.

Many thanks to all of you who were thrown in the middle of my midweek crisis. Really. Thank you.

And while I was on my last seven days of self discovery, this is what I found on the interwebs. Enjoy!

1. This is a(nother) post from Donald Miller, but it's actually about a TED Talks. What's it about? The Power of Vulnerability. Whoa, right? It's sort of scary, but mostly true.

2. I like when people post about their home's interior design. This bedroom especially caught my eye. I hope I have a cute little home when I'm a newlywed.

3. Nutella is good for you. Clearly these cookies must be good for me. I see more baking in my future.

4. “My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage." - Alice Hoffman (via the wild & wily ways)

5. The end of the year/the beginning of a new one can be overwhelming. Here is a post about 5 simple things you can do to take care of yourself. Do these, then worry about being a perfectionist later.

6. IT'S A CRAZY TIME OF YEAR. "Press pause. Stop to enjoy. Breathe. Make yourself a peppermint mocha."

And if you're looking back on the last year, then check out Reverb 11. You can Google it and find others. It's definitely a more organic experience than Reverb 10 was last year, but it seems like everyone is enjoying it all the same.

Listening to: DMB - Christmas Song, Needtobreathe - More Time, Jay Clifford - Standing on the Shoulders of Giants, Radical Face - Welcome Home Son, Rise Against - Swing Life Away, Florence + The Machine - Only If For The Night. Oh and other things - join Spotify and check out my playlists!

Oh, Father up above, 

why in all this hatred do You fill me up with 

love, love, love?

On the train from Jackson to Chicago,

Licking all the wounds that never healed.

Turn around. Turn around.

Now you’re at the end of the line.

Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

You’re standing on the shoulders,

Standing on the shoulders of giants.

You know those days where you feel incredibly beat up at the end? Like nothing will ever go the way you want it to? And thinking makes your head hurt? That's my day. I just keep listening to this song over and over. Is this dramatic? Maybe. But I'm a lady and I can cry if I want to.

Providence has yet to be revealed.

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path. - 11 Things to Know at 25(ish)

[ via then that happened ]

GOOD MORNING! IT'S TOP 5 FRIDAY OVER HERE!

I woke up over an hour ago. That's real life.

So, grab some coffee and read on party people. I did this just for you!

1. Are you busy? Of course you are. Duh. Here are 12 HAPPINESS Habits for Busy People! Read it, Come on, Get Happy!

2. So, we've established you're busy. Do you want to Take It Easy? Of course you do. Duh. Here's a podcast all about it! I listen to Joy & Tracy at the gym - makes me forget I'm on the stair stepper... Sort of.

3. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Enter the Starbucks Venti Iced Coffee. Clearly.

4. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR JAZZFEST LINE UP. For reals.

5. Could I lose a few? Probably. I'm sure I will along my Own Fitness Journey. This is a very honest look at how being healthy goes down. You've got to want it, folks.

And ONE LAST TOPIC! Gift Guides! Love 'em. I do. Seriously.

What do I think are some fail safe gifts for people if they don't have a wish list conveniently located along the right side of their blog like me?

The Happiness Project Calendar - it's positive and it lasts all year long!

Starbucks Gift Card/Locally Roasted Coffee - hello. Caffeine. What's not to love?

BAKED GOODS - make them yourself. Order one. It doesn't matter. Duh. Everyone loves a cookie.

Booze - but only if they drink. And I'm not talking PBR - while refreshing at times, not a good gift. I'm talking a bottle of Hendrick's or Firefly. Maybe a bottle of wine that costs more than $3 or some fancy holiday ale. It's meant to be good. Not cheap.

Bath & Body Works 3 Wick Candles - on sale 2 for $20 with wonderful new smells like Black Pepper Bergamot and Mahogany Teakwood. And they have a COUPON out right now. Get it.

Moroccan Oil - smells lovely and does lovely things to hair. It's not cheap. It's not expensive.

(Good) Nail Polish/Pedicure - every girl loves glitter. Every girl loves color on her toes. Think OPI, Essie, BUTTER. When in doubt, certificate it to your local salon.

A plant - they're eco friendly and friend friendly. A little green thumbed responsibility never hurt anyone and it will enhance the air they breathe! You're so thoughtful!

QUALITY TIME - it's not a cop out gift. It's you! And who doesn't want that for Christmas? Go grab a cup of coffee. See a movie. Bake cookies. Just enjoy being with the other person. NBD. Time is hard to come by!

What do you think belongs on a HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE?

persistence: n. firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.


good example:

Man: May I take a moment of your time?
Me: Uh. Sure.
Man: I noticed you standing inside and you're very cute and I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time together?
Me: (lying) Oh, well, I don't think my boyfriend would like that.
Man: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Me: It's ok, but thanks for the offer.
Man: May I point out something else I noticed?
Me: Sure.
Man: You didn't say no.
Me: Oh... Well, no.
Man: Ok. I just had to try.

bad example:

Me: I have quite a few Top 5 Friday posts under my belt.

Roomie: Go, Erin!

Me: Maybe they'll make me famous and I'll become a professional blogger.

Roomie: You should!

Me: (whiny voice) But it's hard work. Like harder work than normal work. Meh.

Roomie: (laughs) Then don't do it!



Note: Persistence is NOT always the answer to getting what you want. 

Monday.

It's supposed to be awful, yes?

Mine was quite the opposite.

Good. Challenging. Thought provoking.

I had coffee with an old friend, got my brows done, made an appointment to have my oil change and AC looked at, made another appointment to get my hair did, had my tires rotated, made a Costco trip, went to my first free counseling session, had a good talk with the roomie, tried warm flow yoga for the very first time, did some christmas shopping, ate some candy cane joe joe's and now I'm sitting in an apartment filled with wonderful smells - like Mahogany Teakwood. If you could turn a sophisticated man into a candle, this is the candle he would be.

Is that weird? Maybe.

Tomorrow, I'm going to cross more things off my to-do list, go to the gym, maybe wrap some gifts and hopefully bake these yummy looking blueberry chai oat bakes.

That's really all I have to say I guess.