Wednesday, August 06, 2008

you are the friend that answers my call

Good morning... mornings are the worst.

I took an ambien last night so I could sleep without dream, but the first thing I thought of when I woke up was him. and the hurt. and the confusion. And that I would be late for my walk. I hate this so much.

"When prayer seems to be unanswered, beware of trying to place blame on someone else. That is always a trap of Satan. When you seem to have no answer, there is always a reason - God uses these times to give you deep personal instruction, and it is not for anyone else, but you."

I can't wait to be ok again. To know what I'm doing. To be myself again. To genuinely smile again at all my customers instead of having them trying to make me smile.

The girls at the bank gave me flowers and a card wishing me a hopeful heart and brighter days ahead. And I cried. But through all this, it's good to know that I have friends and family who care about me. That I have not just served coffee, but impacted people's lives - people who now think of me as friend and confidante and not just the barista. I'm glad that I could do that.

You are the love I need. You are the air I breathe. You are my love, my life. Always forever.

1 comment:

Dawnieb84@aol.com said...

Girl, I had no idea you were going through a hard time. Don't let yourself fall into a lie that there isn't true love out there, don;t believe that things don;t last. They do and you will find something, remember you are only 23. The most romantic couple I know would have to be my parents. Their love and patience for eachother amazes me. The reason I bring this up is because Susan met my Dad when she was 34.
You are smart, you know that there is a plan for you. I know this is not a fun time right now in your life but if you SERIOUSLY give your next relationships to GOD he will reward you for that. The best thing you can do right now is grow in God, have the holy spirit teach you how to know who is the one for you out there.
God gives you these times in your life for growth in Him.