Oh is our life just an illusion? There is no need to figure it out. The separation exists not in your love filled heart, but only in your mind.
This is a photo from a blog I read by a woman who lives in Portland (which is a point I no longer find particularly appealing, but I'll get over it...) Anyway. I think she is lovely. And her life is lovely. And her family is lovely. And I hope and pray that one day I have all those things in such a lovely and creative way as she does.
But for now, I want no one and my life is confusing. I want to find myself - who I am, what I want, where I'm going. And I'm going to start now because I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of making my life second to the life of someone else. I'm tired of caring so much about another person's happiness that I forget to make myself happy. Maybe I'll discover it all next week. Or maybe I won't. I'm hoping I discover it in NYC in January. But maybe I won't. Perhaps at the new job I'm applying for? New Orleans? Morocco? Who knows? The point is I've got to start trying. I've got to start living.
The real story's all around you. Even now it surrounds you. Even now I feel the power.
I'm armed with my friends, my family, my God and some hope. We'll see how this goes...
The world exploded into love all around me.
1 comment:
you still read it... happy!
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