rescue is coming

I’d love to start again, go back to innocent and never leave.

Evidently I blog quite a bit when I'm upset.

Today I was wondering how you fall in love forever? How do you find that one person among many? How do you trust someone else with your heart when another person has been careless with it? How do you find someone else to complete your thoughts or understand your obscure references? How do you know if it's real when you already thought something else was?

I almost walked up to a happy looking young couple in Costco and said "Don't get too attached. It probably won't last."

And I wondered how will I enjoy the things I used to enjoy? Eat the food I used to eat? Listen to the music I used to listen to? How do you go on about things when they used to be so interwined with someone else? Am I supposed to share those things with anyone ever again? Or will they be lost forever? Or will I be too scared to lose them to someone else?

I mean, really, how do you keep going on when all you want to do is rewind?

This is what I found in Proverbs:

21 My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; 22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. 23 Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; 24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, 26 for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.

And I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has shared words of encouragement or support with me. Thank you to everyone who didn't say a word, but listened when I needed to speak. Thank you to those of you who just sat when there was nothing to be said at all. The response has been overwhelming.

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4)

I'm not okay yet. I'm not going to be okay today. Probably not for awhile. But, please, don't give up on me. I promise I'll come around again. I cried a little less today and even ate some food. Good signs, right?

And [there's] nothing left to do, but believe something bigger. And there’s nothing wrong with love. I know it’s just enough to believe.

Don’t give up now. A break in the clouds. We will be found.