i fall. i freeze. i pray down on my knees.

I sleep. I wake. I try hard not to break.

I have this giant knot of pain growing my in right shoulder and I don't know where it came from.

I finished reading that ridiculous ninety pages of research. And writing the ridiculous market analysis and website evaluation. I'm so close to being done.

And speaking of that, I'll probably only be spending one more weekend in Columbia. Maybe two. I know I'll be here this weekend. I'm serving/cleaning at the Opening Gala for the Festival of the Arts on Friday just because I would like to and Sunday is the last Shack of my college career.

I crave. I love. I've waited long enough. I try as hard as I can.

The weekend after that I'll be in Charleston babysitting my new store. And then, well, I guess I'm moving back. I have no idea where all my stuff is going. Maybe I'll just give it all away.

Moving down the block last summer seemed fun and exciting and easier than moving to the next largest city along the interstate. I still can't believe we moved so quickly this time last year. It was crazy. I was probably already living in boxes at this point.

Ohh. I'm not going far. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back.

I like my weekends. I work really hard during the week and have them free-ish. It's going to suck when I stop seeing Matt during them. This weekend was good though.

I hope. I stand. I take it like a man. I try as hard as I can.

It started with Immac and Rachel on Friday. I had coffee on Saturday, finally. We baked cupcakes and an actual cake, then delivered the cupcakes to the nice boy at Starbucks. He seemed genuinely excited. Courtney turned 18 on Saturday and played a show with Grayson at the Watershed. (You should go see them the next opportunity you get.) I also made up with Ben and Jerry's on our walk back from Za's, so I feel like that's a step forward. Oh and Matt made breakfast for dinner last night. It was the most amazing cheese and egg volcano I had ever experienced. And three words: pesto with breakfast.

Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken? Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder? Why do you see right through me?