and I would have stayed up with you all night...

Thursday I worked and it was busy.
Friday I worked and it was kinda like hell.
Today (it's still Saturday to me) I worked and it was busy.

Good for Jammin Java. I apologize to my feet and my hands - especially the parts of them I accidentally sliced with a knife or saran wrap box. Or to my right hand that I poured freshly brewed coffee onto.

I went to Papa Jazz tonight. Bought a cd. Two, actually. Um. I can't remember the last time I bought a cd.

I went running to get rid of all the tension. It kinda worked. It was cold and my throat burned, but my palms were sweaty and chest cursed at me.

I love Alison. I respect her, too. I really enjoy sitting on my kitchen floor eating cheerios and talking to my roommate. I hope that carries onto our next home. I hope I do that with my kids one day. It seems like a good way to bond.

I make decisions based on my past experiences and the things I want to avoid in my future ones. I won't ever feel bad again about not going out to bars anymore.

I always take those damn surveys that ask what I regret. I usually answer, "I regret nothing. I like to think everything as life experience whether it was enjoyable or not." It's a cop out answer. But now I know. I know what I regret. And it didn't seem like a big deal at the time because it's what I wanted, but hearing stories and switching roles in my head - it breaks my heart. And I regret it.

(And just so you all know this is nothing recent. Ok, good. You can breathe now.)

Sometimes I wish I wasn't scared of blood and that I could be a doctor and that I could save lives. But I am scared of blood and it makes me want to puke and I won't save lives. Hopefully, I'll be able to make a difference one shot of espresso at a time.

I've been watching too much Grey's Anatomy. We have season one on dvd. I would like season two - for those of you looking for Christmas ideas. I watched four episodes. I screamed several times. And now I'm just glad that Patrick Dempsey got his big break. And that the show plays so much amazing music.

I wish we'd always wake up new, refreshed and born again with nothing left to lose. But we drink too much. Who needs a crutch? Pull off the bandage there's no wound.

I bought this stuff called Peanut Wonder - It's fake peanut butter. Seriously, it has 85% less fat and 40% less calories than the regular love of my life peanut butter. Seems too good to be true, right? Because it is. It's a $6 jar of disgusting. I miss my peanut fat.

This doesn't even make any sense and I need to go to bed.
I want chinese food.
Goodnight.