all the streetlights say nevermind

I don't think I'm gonna go to L.A. anymore. I don’t know what it's like to land and not race to your door. I don't think I'm gonna go to L.A. anymore.

I am organized chaos. Yes. I am.

Fall is coming. I felt it in the breeze today. I also saw it on my order sheet when I ordered pumpkin pie ice cream and pumpkin spice sauce. Yessss.

There are so many opportunities coming my way both professionally and personally. The work would have come to me anyway, but, I swear, being single has really opened my social network. Imagine that.

I'm not scared - just uncertain of what's around the next corner, but the good news is that it's not in my hands or in my timing. I just gotta do what I do and let God do what He does.

I finished reading Waiter Rant and there was this one part of the book that I really felt. And I wanted to share it with everyone because I don't think it's something we all need to experience (even though we all absolutely have at some point):

"The reason I've been fearful to utilize my talents is because I'm afraid of failure. I'm always waiting for disaster to strike, for the other shoe to drop. That's why I never opened that coffee shop. That's why my relationships have turned sour. It's why I'm still fearful my writing will amount to nothing. That's the real reason I haven't quit The Bistro. I'm afraid I'll fail if I try to do anything else." - The Waiter

Awful. And true. And difficult to overcome.

I went to Columbia over the weekend and realized that it is no longer my home (I'm not exactly sure where it is at moment). Sure, the city holds many memories, but I don't live there anymore. It's no longer the way we were - it is the way they are in a place that used to be ours, but now belongs to new people. And it is ok. I'm ready to let it go. (I think.)

On a more pleasant (not that the last subject wasn't pleasant) note, I'm now reading a Bob Dylan autobiography and my room is complete except for a new valance and I will be swapping out some art soon. It's all very urban ikea barn. I suspect a few of you understand that.

"I'd come from a long ways off and had started a long ways down. But now destiny was about to manifest itself. I felt like it was looking right at me and nobody else." - Bob Dylan

Also, I have a little bit more downtime this week. I plan on watching The OC on dvd and doing laundry and reading (my book and a new blog someone sent me) and spending time with friends.

I feel there was more to say, but I'm at a loss now. Oh well.

Listen to John Mayer (live) Where The Light Is.

I’m gonna steer clear. Burn up in your atmosphere. I’m gonna steer clear 'cause I’d die if I saw you - die if I didn’t see you there.