Anyway, the end of the year always gets me thinking about life. I try not to think about my past in relationship to my present or future. It gets confusing. Things happen. Things change. People change. Life goes on. Sometimes life recycles itself with events & people, but it's never quite the same. And it's too tiring to hold onto the past. I've learned to let things go, to give second chances, to believe more in caring than in hurt. And to just see what happens.
However, despite my c'est la vie attitude, there is one thing I would change about twenty-ten.
December 20 - Beyond Avoidance
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
I would have un-volunteered myself from working, stopped worrying abt money/time/micromanaging/myself, and would have gone to Virginia for Andrew & Brittany's wedding. At the time, it seemed physically & financially impossible for me to attend. I was busy working in a retail mgmt position ending holiday and starting sale, plus owning my own business. Whether I could have made it happen or not is irrelevant now, but it is the one thing I regret from the past year. And, unfortunately, it's not something I get a redo on and for that I am truly sorry.Evidently, I learned a lot from weddings this year. Five of them. And I only went to two...
From Andrew & Brittany's, I learned the value of family. You cannot be photo-shopped into a memory - only a photo. And, at the end of the day, family comes first.
From Matt & Cristy's, I learned the value of being yourself. You can find friends in the most unexpected places. You can realize you've created relationships at unexpected times. Don't ever doubt your ability to be you and have people like you. Don't ever doubt your ability to be you and have people not like you. And either way, don't ever let you stop you from being you.
From Alison & Hugo's, I learned the value of good friends (and the pain of separation anxiety). Sometimes it's just a phone call or text. Sometimes it's a tank of gas to Columbia or New Orleans. But time spent with those who know and love you best is priceless.
From Lou & Micah's, I learned that people can change and they deserve second chances. And that you should never say never to people because when you touch someone's life, you change them and they change you. And, even if you take different paths, that point where you crossed will always be a very important place.
From Kt & Tripp's, I learned the value of an honest relationship. We often build walls to defend ourselves from pain or from truth and sometimes we end up blocking out other people. And the tragedy in that is you miss out on life-changing moments with them. Don't be honest out of anger. Be honest out of love.
They say you learn a lot from marriage. Clearly, it's true. And I'm not even married, yet. Oy.
This blog seems to have turned into a bit of a self-help, discovery lesson which is not what I intended, but maybe I just needed to remind myself of these things. Or maybe someone else needed to read them. I'm not sure.
Maybe I'll write a book called My Life in Weddings : Lessons from the Guestbook. Ha. I'm totally kidding. I promise.