via instagram

Source: kenzamiriam.tumblr.com via Erin on Pinterest

I am sitting on the interwebs before Girl's Night Out. I actually haven't touched my computer since early Thursday afternoon so I think I was feeling the pang of separation anxiety. I mean, my iPhone is very good at keeping me company, but it's just not the same to someone who loves typing.

Is it weird that I really love typing? I mean, I do that for a living. Type. A lot. That's still not the same as it is for me to sit down and type out a blog. I love blogging. I've definitely missed it for the past week. My Google Reader is blowing up and there are so many links I want to share in Links I Love, but goodness know I cannot share them all. We'd all be here for days.

In the meantime, I am ready for summer. How about you? I mean sure, winter is nice.... You get to wear scarves and drink things like hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps without feeling like an alcoholic, but let's get real. Summer is where it's at. Kayaks, the beach and camping. Tank tops, iced coffee, and tans. And you can drink fun frozen cocktails without feeling like an alcoholic. Hiiiii, Summer! I want you to come early.

Ok. That's all I have time for right now. xoxo.

Remember how I told February to get ready? Well, it did! I have been so super busy between work and life that I haven't had much time and/or energy to hit the blog. Honestly, I have a couple hundred posts I need to catch up on reading... Oy to the vey.

I am going on vacation for 5 whole days soon, so you all will definitely my top priority, but until then I leave you with this gem - it premieres at The American Theatre on February 22 in lovely downtown Charleston, SC. xo.

The Garden Summer Trailer from Hailey Wist on Vimeo.

In the summer of 2010, a group of Charleston natives set out for rural Arkansas in search of their green thumbs. The Garden Summer follows them as they get to know each other, the art of gardening, and the joy of sustainable living.  - Charleston City Paper

Dear February,

Let's do it to it, ok?

xo.

enJOY it is one of my very favorite blogs. I relate to Elise. I relate to coffee & creativity. I relate to the love of the water. I can relate to missing a military man. I relate to yoga. I relate to the magic of quotes & words. I relate to strategically organized bookshelves. I relate to instagram obsession! I love the honesty of her blog. There has yet to be a post I thought wasn't worth my time. And that's why I am sharing it with you! I hope you enJOY it, too.

[all photo credit to elise & her blog]

Whoa. What a good week on the interwebs! I had a really hard time choosing posts not to include! Everyone was so insightful and inspiring - I love it. I also needed it. It was an up and down sort of week ending with a Saturday off that was SO FULL. 

I did yoga and drank coffee and had real life talk with my boss. I walked along the beach and watched the surfers surf and the water surround me. I drank mimosas at lunch and shopped for things that smelled wonderful. I had lovely dinner with lovely people and half priced wine. And I cried while watching Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - the kind of cry where the tears stream down your face as if it's completely natural for you to be openly weeping.

I hope you had a day that was that good, too. You can tell me all about it if you want. I'd like that.

But until then, here are the Links I Love:

1. There was a day this week where I wasn't happy. It's ok to not be ok. Eat a macaroon and let it go.

2. I am obsessed with yoga. Last year, I mastered Crow Pose, so maybe 2012 is the year of the headstand? [Lululemon has a showcase store in Charleston. It's the cutest little place ever.]

3. Writing help. Real writing advice. Direction and inspiration for Bold Types.

4. I am not the best at giving or receiving compliments. I'm self-conscious and awkward, but I try to be good at it anyway. Here are a few tips & tricks if you have a hard time with it, too!

5. I WANT TO JUICE CLEANSE.

6. Oh dear goodness. Trust me, you want to listen to this podcast. I wouldn't steer you wrong and neither would Joy & Tracy. 

7. A friend sent me this link because she loved it. She thought I would, too. And I did. My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with hope. Love is alive. 

"They’ve set the bar high, but there’s no need to lower it; this isn’t limbo, it’s life. Nothing good has ever come easy, and I love a good challenge." 

8. Elise reminded me to be in the present. What are you doing right now? I would love to know.

9. Clearly, I will soon be making Raw Chocolate Milk. And I'm going to want to store it in a mason jar.

And my final piece of information: Listen to Lana Del Ray - Video Games.

Gosh, I hope you enjoy these links as much as I do. And I hope you enjoy reading this post as much as I loved writing it.

xo.

"If you can't connect with yourself, how are you going to connect with someone else? If you have walls built, then you'll never be able to communicate and find out that you're not alone." - my yoga instructor, Caryn.

day twenty six via instagram

Today,

I wore my new cardigan. Hi, Cardigan! I like you.

I let myself get overwhelmed.
I don't think I'll make that mistake again.

Then I walked around and ate macaroons for lunch.
That part I would definitely do again.

For dinner, I ate at a bar.
Reuben + Duck Fat Fries + Purple Haze.

(I really love Abita beers.)

I also scored some produce from a box.
Thank you, Wellness Group!

Someone described me as "exhausted looking".
I have to find a way to combat that. More water & green smoothies?

Oh sleep.
I could do that, too.

This time last year, I was quitting my job and beginning a new one. I was also learning about Florence + The Machine and how to make chicken soup from scratch. Oh how the time flies!

Tomorrow, I need to pay bills, finish laundry, call Megan, go to yoga, paint my nails, visit the brother, read and bake cookies. At least. I also need hair product. Feel free to remind me of these things randomly throughout the day.

Listen to Origins - Tennis and We Are Young - Fun.

I have posted this before, but it's definitely the sort of topic that has been up for debate a lot recently with someone I know. I'm of the belief that when the time is right, you'll know. Fate will take you where you need to go or keep you where you need to be. It will open your eyes and your heart to the right person. (After you make yourself ready to be open to such things...)


That's not to say be a hermit. That's also not to say go all out crazy while you wait. I think there's a happy medium.


But until the moment finally comes, grow your own avocado tree. And chin up!


LORELAI: Someday you'll meet someone, and you'll just know it’s right. You won't want to hesitate. You'll just know.

RORY: I hope so.

LORELAI: I really do believe it.

RORY: So I guess no avocado trees.

LORELAI: Well, no avocado tree.

RORY: You know, I think I'll get my own avocado tree.

LORELAI: See? You could get your own cherry tree, get your own peanut tree, just have peanut butter all day long.

RORY: Peanuts don't grown on trees. They grow under the ground.

LORELAI: Whatever. My point is you can have anything you want.

RORY: Oh, yes. It’s wide open.

LORELAI: What do you mean, peanuts don't grow on trees?

RORY: Mom, trust me. I'm a college graduate.


xo.


(PS. Part of/most of this script sounds strange out of context. Go watch Gilmore Girls!)

via everyday musings

"Take this time to breathe deep and let whatever is on your mind go. You can't make someone do something. You can't make something work. Sometimes, you literally have to just let it go. That doesn't mean give up. It means let it go." - My yoga teacher, Harriott.

twloha. [subject: me, photo credit: katie gandy]

I've decided to turn Top 5 Friday into "Links I Love". Why? I don't like the constraints I put on myself for Top 5 Friday. It's both a limit and a deadline. No thanks. So, welcome to the first edition of Links I Love! I just couldn't make up my mind, so it took me all weekend to narrow it down from the hundreds of posts I probably read this week.

Enjoy!

1. Sometimes you need an attitude adjustment or a perspective shift. Sometimes life seems glass half empty, but you can definitely make it half full.

"You'll do fine. People have phenomenal capacity." // Project Life Week 2

2. I am slowly but surely learning this trait - How to Say No (Without Being an Asshole).

3. An old friend and I discussed the idea of my blogging "seriously" or maybe writing professionally one day. This post on Organizing Inspiration may be an excellent place to start.

4. This week, Black Eiffel hit me with two motivating posts. One about Pretty Closets to jump start my cleaning project! And another about Alt Summit and Up & Coming Blogs - the inspiration is endless!

5. We often think about the things we wish were or could do. If you make a list, it might come true. A lot of these things are the kind of woman I want to be, too.

6. Meg also reposted this Dear Sugar post. It's quite intimate. "What you resolve will need to be resolved again".

7. Oh hi, Blue Print Cleanse. This is just another reason to convince me to spend my life savings on a juice cleanse. Thanks, Nicole!

8. Secrets don't make friends - especially if you tell ones that don't belong to you. End of story.

9. Once I make my closet pretty, I will be hitting the pantry. How could I not want to after seeing these before & after pantry photos?!

10. Gentlemint - Pinterest for boys.

11. This moved me to tears - Why I love Jesus, but Hate Religion.

12. Find your Daily Dose of Pretty at The Beauty Department. I realize this is incredibly girly.

13. Apple just changed the game. Again. Watching the iBooks Textbooks video made me want to go back to high school. This is how we do.

PS. I just found out my dear friends Charles & Myron had a free range chicken named after me at the Keegan Filion Farms Barn Raising today - how fantastic & flattering!

But seriously...

Listen to this song because I almost got into an accident Shazam-ing it.

And this one, too. It almost made me cry on Gossip Girl.

Haters gonna hate.

You're welcome.

I'll trade the moon for the sun, but this feeling for no one.

Do One Thing Everyday That Scares You.

Go back to school. Make a new friend. Join the military. Quit your job & get a new one. Write a song. Read a book. Rock out in your car. Stand alone. Say what you mean. Dye your hair. Hug someone. Let someone hug you. Get married. Have a baby. Ask a question. Wear purple eyeliner. Say NO. Say YES. Keep your mouth shut. Call an old friend. Do a new workout. Go to the doctor. File your own taxes. Take care of someone. Start a new business venture. Move to a new city. Try a different food. Treat yo self. Cut up your credit card. Wake up early. Go to a concert. Laugh at yourself. 

I am constantly in awe of the things we can push ourselves to do. My friends and family are quite inspiring in that respect. I love that the people in my life are constantly moving forward/re-arranging their lives to be better. Sometimes that brings them very close. Sometimes that takes them very far. But luckily never more than a comfortable phone conversation away.

What are you doing right now that scares you? Or is about to change your life?

And the only solution was to stand and fight.

My friend Tony has been through so much in his life and despite everything manages to have such a beautiful perspective on life. It's truly inspiring.

"And when I look back upon times that should be painful, all I see is beauty from the Love that I have received. I leave you with an applicable Mumford quote: "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. And where you invest your Love, you invest your Life." - Tony Alessandro

I am blessed enough to find myself in the same place as him. It's hard to keep yourself down when you find yourself surrounded by such a large and supportive cheering section. There will never be a way to repay my family and friends for everything their love has done for my life.

working on a resolution // via instagram 

So, this is a pretty revealing post and I am about to admit a couple of things about myself that may sound bad and/or cocky, but I don't mean to be that way. I am really a nice person... I swear.

A few (yeah. yeah. over three...) years ago, I broke up with someone who crushed me. (It happens, I know.) Most people get over that sort of thing quickly... I did not. I think I may have, but up until now I was like a serial dater. Literally, I would go out with guys one to four times, then find something horribly wrong with them or the situation and then find a way to stop seeing them/just ignore them.

Either I didn't find them entertaining or intelligent or attractive or nice enough. Or I was too busy or tired or bored. I always managed to wiggle my way out of the dating situation and leave them hanging.

How terrible is that? I KNOW. I AM SUCH A BAD PERSON.

But I wasn't ready. I didn't know them. I didn't trust them. And I didn't want 

to. At all.

via instagram

So, for three years, I have basically been leading guys on and mentally dumping them before they have a chance. To be fair, I have dated some real douchebags, but I have also dated some really (really) nice guys, too. (Hi, I'm really sorry if you're reading this....) I let them all loose.

Recently, I have gone out with a few different fellas and have mentally pulled the plug - as per my usual (subconscious) plan. (I swear it's not my intent when I start going out with them.) But for some reason, this time... there was this one guy where it didn't seem quite fair for me to do that. More so, I didn't want to stop talking to him. (Ok, so that's sort of a lie. I did try to pull a fast one and ditch him, but then my friends called me out on it.) 

At first, I sort of freaked out. He was super attentive. I got a book on our first date and my favorite flowers on the third. I got texts at least every morning and every night and we visited each other every weekend. I was really overwhelmed and ready to bail, but after a lot of thought, and being called out, I decided not to... I found him to be thoughtful, intelligent, attractive and funny. All at one time. That's crazy, right?

And then you know what happened? He did the same thing to me that I did to all the other guys. I got let go. Karma, eh? Except he was much nicer about it than I have ever been and he even explained himself to me. (I'm just a bitch when I do it - I never give an explanation.) And while the reasons are neither here nor there or for any sort of public forum... Ouch. 

(This part is going to sound cocky....) This is the first time in three years, that I have been upset about a guy. I mean, I have always been the one to cut if off and that leaves you feeling pretty confident. But now, whoa. I don't know what to do. I'm not upset with him. I'm not upset with myself even. I am... disappointed? Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it at the moment.

What I do know is that I am happy to know that for the first time in over three years that I let myself feel something and be open to the idea of someone else. That is such a huge thing for me - even though I definitely got shut down. 

I guess I just learned a lot about myself through this whole experience.  

I also learned that I should never feel like I am convincing someone that it's a good idea to date me. My friend said to me "I want you happy like in the movies." And I feel like if he feels that way that someone who wants to date me should feel even more than that. Clearly, that was not going to happen in this situation.

I spent a lot of time in my life dedicating myself to someone else. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely wanted to do that at that point in my life, but now I know that it should be reciprocated. I should only be dating guys who are head over heals for me. 

I should never settle.

So, that's what I learned today.

It hurts when someone says they don't want you whether you've known them for three years or three months. You need to treat people the way you want to be treated. And, above all else, remember how much you deserve and never think that second place is an ok place to find yourself. 

[Disclaimer: I am not mad at this guy. I do not hold this decision against him. He did nothing wrong. It's not a big deal. We may even turn out to be friends - certainly stranger things have happened.]