Thursday, March 01, 2012

I cannot stop listening to Trevor Hall.

Listen to The Lime Tree. If you've been around me at all recently, then I'm sure you've heard it already. Just listen to it again. And come see him with me on March 24 at The Pourhouse.

Save me love, save me all the time. I wash it down with a simple sip of wine. Toast my glass to all my loved ones to let them know that the stars, they still shine. It took a while for you to find me, but I was hiding in the lime tree.

So, today. I am constantly surprised how far I've come in life, but then again not at all. 

Professionally, I have a plan. I know what I want and I am so willing to work for it. I am dedicated and competitive. I am fiercely passionate about what is good for me and what is not - what is acceptable and what is not. I am focused. I command attention. And I can stand alone. This translates into my personal life as well.

via instagram
I spend time by myself sometimes, but often balance a full social calendar. I schedule time for spontaneity and fit in as much as possible until I overload and take time off. I am quick to make friends, but slow to trust them fully. And when I get to that point with someone, then I absolutely adore them. I have high standards for myself and I hold those around me to the same standards.

Turns out, I can't always do that.

Turns out, we're not all the same.

Turns out, what is good for me is not good for everyone else.

My therapist brought up a very good point today. Maybe I haven't been put in people's lives to help them figure something out, but to help me figure out how I see people, how I treat them, how I respond to them, and how I love them.

(She makes me spend a lot of time thinking about myself...)

I have a really difficult time relating to people who make decisions that are vastly different than my own. And whether I am right or wrong, I have to remember to accept those decisions as the right ones for that person.

Turns out, my adoration has some limits.

Turns out, I let my head own more of me than my heart sometimes.

Turns out, I may be handing out judgement and didn't' realize.

And it's so crazy for me to realize that. I just sat their in silence while my therapist handed this idea to me. Silent because I was processing. Silent because I realized she was right. Silent because I felt horrible for making anyone doubt themselves in my eyes.

That's not to say I will always agree with people. I will always have an opinion. I will always give it to the people I care about. But after that, then it's up to them.

My job is to love. love. love.

There, but for the grace of God, I go.

It's just a little something for me to think about. And I think it's time for me to practice some good intention and follow up with it. It might just make my life easier, too.

1 comment:

Mandy Fisher said...

We may be sisters. You're beautiful and I love reading your thoughts.