It is almost April. APRIL! How did that happen? Where did the last three months go? I know they've been awesome, but too quick!

Oy.

Do you ever stop and take a look at your life and wonder how the heck you got where you are?

I'm not saying it's a bad thing or a good thing... just a thing.

And I wonder if where I am is where I'm supposed to be. If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. If I'm with who I am supposed to be with. If I'm making the most of the time that's been given to me.

This is not to say I'm not completely happy with my life at the moment. Life is good. I've got goals. I just wonder if they're the right ones and how am I supposed to know?

How do you know if you're living it right?

[cue the John Mayer music]

But seriously. How do YOU know? Tell me your stories.

Oh hey new profile photo!
Who made me so pretty? The beautiful & talented Elle Andersen!

Elle’s passion for her work has given her many opportunities and taken her to many different places. And, if you ask her, the best part of it all has been filling her life with the vibrance of those whose paths she has crossed.

Check out more of her work at Elle Olivia Photography!

Dear Blog,  

We have been together for quite sometime now- six years, in fact. Crazy! This was our very first post together... And since then you've taken me through a lot and kept all of my words & secrets safe. So, I just wanted to say thank you and I'm sorry this is the only year I've remembered our bloggiversary... But here is to many more! You mean the world!

Dear Readers, 

Some of you have been along for the ride just as long! Maybe you even hopped on the train back when we were a live journal. (Oh hey! Blast from the past!) I used to only write these posts for me, but I now know that they've also been for you. I love your texts, emails and comments. You all are hilarious, encouraging and inspiring. Thank you - you're the best!

xoxo.  

 

”...if a person knows Christ, they become the sort of [person] who says difficult truths with [their] mouth and yet feels things with [their] heart that make [them] want to go around and die for people. It’s quite beautiful, really.” - Donald Miller

photo via cohabitaire. see more here.

My alarm has been going off since six thirty. That was silly of me to set. I have had this terrible habit recently of staying up late and thinking that I could wake up five hours later ready to take on my day. I've had more caffeine in the last two days, then I've had in the last month. Crazy. I know.

It's ok.

Sometimes you just have to go watch your friend get a tattoo and celebrate with drinks.

But I'm on vacation. I'm on vacation with a messy room and an unpacked suitcase, but still. Six days.

Today, I will head to Savannah to visit the lovely Mrs. Degar. (Whoa. Sometimes I still have trouble remembering that Chickies is a Mrs. now.) And I will be joined by the always amazing Laura. I already know how awesome this is going to be.

I'll miss my town while I'm gone. I'll miss my people. I'll even miss my job. But it's going to be good to get away. I need to get away. I was starting to overload.

And when I come back, I'll start over fresh for spring. I think that will be a good idea.

xo.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes. - Charles R. Swindoll 

Sometimes I wake up while it's still dark and I panic about the time. Did my alarm go off? Am I late for work? Will I still have time to shower and stop for coffee? You know what I'm talking about. It's a fear that seizes me for two whole seconds before I can get my phone close enough to my face to see the time.

This morning, the fear lasted longer when I saw a long list of updates topped by a text from a friend. I knew why they texted and I just couldn't seem to get my phone unlocked quickly enough to read it. 

The fact of the matter is - life is short and it appears that way at any age.

I had this conversation with my boss yesterday. He asked me why I had decided to go let myself be beat up by the ocean and a surfboard. I'm crazy?  I said, "I just don't see why I shouldn't be doing things right now." Really, the older I get, the more I want to do. I've cultivated this unusual desire to try things I'm scared of or things I think I may hate.

Why? I don't know. What's the worst that could happen? Why do I make any of the decisions I do? Because I realize life is too short to not do what you want to do? Because life is too short to not be with the people I want to be with? Because one day that 4:30 am text will be from me or about me and I don't want it to be full of regret?

There are no words that accurately express the feelings of loss. There is nothing a person can say to describe it. And on the opposite side, there is nothing to be said to make it better. It's just a part of life.

And I have faith in the next part  - in a beautiful eternity that is more amazing than anything this earth could ever offer. I'm not scared of dying, but I know my life is a gift and I am certainly frightened to look back and feel as though I haven't been living it.

So, tell the people you love that you love them and do all of the things you want to do. Live within your means, but remember that this time is temporary. And life is short, but sweet for certain.

xo.

So a few people have texted/emailed me to ask about my previous post. What's the secret? What makes me so good with life? I can say it's not any one thing or person. It's everything combined.

It's the beautiful weather. It's work. It's when work is hard and I learn something from it. It's when work is smooth and I feel accomplished by it. It's the people I work with and how much they support me. It's the people I work with and how much I am able to support them. It's my friends - new and old. It's getting to know people for real. It's trying new things, new foods, new adventures. It's saying yes even if I want to say no. It's saying no when I really want to say no. It's my health. It's the roof over my head. It's Charleston and the water that surrounds it. It's the music I hear. It's the words I read. It's taking the negative and turning it into a positive. It's phone calls with friends who live far away. It's half priced bottles of wine. It's dancing the night away. It's trying to surf. It's baking and baking some more. It's lunch with friends. It's dinner with friends. It's supporting people who need supporting. It's vanilla chai tea. It's instagram. It's yappy little Roxy pants. It's the sound of the fountain as I fall asleep. It's a free massage. It's a juice cleanse high. It's going running. It's my family. It's cotton candy colored sunsets.

It's a lot of things. I have so many things to be thankful for - so many things to be happy about. And I am trying to be positive and work hard and just do it - whatever it is. That's all. Sometimes I forget to stop and be grateful, but today that's what I'm doing. That's my secret!

I've been a bad blogger again. I'm sorry! I've been doing more of the eating and drinking with people. And dancing. And running. And beaching. Reading, too. I'm on the third book of The Hunger Games series. I dig it.

My days off/last week have been so wonderful. I can't even begin to fill you in on all of it. But I'm so very happy with life at the moment.

And I have been listening to this song all day. Do yourself a favor. Evidently I just skipped it every time I listened to this album before.

Daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt. He lends his coat his shelter. Plus, he's there for you when he shouldn't be, but he stays all the same. Waits for you, then sees you through.

courtesy of joy the baker & her bp experience

Hi Friends.

It's Tuesday. But not just ANY Tuesday. It's the Tuesday that I begin my Blueprint Cleanse! Why? Because it's supposed to be amazing for your body... and I like a challenge. Also, because I'm highly susceptible to advertising - Joy the Baker, Tracy Shutterbean, Andrea with the Hyperbole, and Nicole is Better have all endorsed this juice drinking campaign.

And I believe in a TREAT YO' SELF lifestyle.

Ok, so it was actually really hard for me to buy this. Why? BECAUSE IT WAS SO DAMN EXPENSIVE. I could have bought a juicer and done it myself, but I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. But sometimes in life, you need to go on a juicing adventure.

So, now I'm waiting for the FedEx juice deliverer. If they don't show up before I leave for work, then I'll have to start tomorrow. I hope they get here soon because I'm hungry! Meh.

... this was a good idea, right?

Right.

And don't worry, I will let you know how it goes!

I cannot stop listening to Trevor Hall.

Listen to The Lime Tree. If you've been around me at all recently, then I'm sure you've heard it already. Just listen to it again. And come see him with me on March 24 at The Pourhouse.

Save me love, save me all the time. I wash it down with a simple sip of wine. Toast my glass to all my loved ones to let them know that the stars, they still shine. It took a while for you to find me, but I was hiding in the lime tree.

So, today. I am constantly surprised how far I've come in life, but then again not at all. 

Professionally, I have a plan. I know what I want and I am so willing to work for it. I am dedicated and competitive. I am fiercely passionate about what is good for me and what is not - what is acceptable and what is not. I am focused. I command attention. And I can stand alone. This translates into my personal life as well.

via instagram

I spend time by myself sometimes, but often balance a full social calendar. I schedule time for spontaneity and fit in as much as possible until I overload and take time off. I am quick to make friends, but slow to trust them fully. And when I get to that point with someone, then I absolutely adore them. I have high standards for myself and I hold those around me to the same standards.

Turns out, I can't always do that.

Turns out, we're not all the same.

Turns out, what is good for me is not good for everyone else.

My therapist brought up a very good point today. Maybe I haven't been put in people's lives to help them figure something out, but to help me figure out how I see people, how I treat them, how I respond to them, and how I love them.

(She makes me spend a lot of time thinking about myself...)

I have a really difficult time relating to people who make decisions that are vastly different than my own. And whether I am right or wrong, I have to remember to accept those decisions as the right ones for that person.

Turns out, my adoration has some limits.

Turns out, I let my head own more of me than my heart sometimes.

Turns out, I may be handing out judgement and didn't' realize.

And it's so crazy for me to realize that. I just sat their in silence while my therapist handed this idea to me. Silent because I was processing. Silent because I realized she was right. Silent because I felt horrible for making anyone doubt themselves in my eyes.

That's not to say I will always agree with people. I will always have an opinion. I will always give it to the people I care about. But after that, then it's up to them.

My job is to love. love. love.

There, but for the grace of God, I go.

It's just a little something for me to think about. And I think it's time for me to practice some good intention and follow up with it. It might just make my life easier, too.