thinking about another day...

... wishing I was far away. Wherever I dreamed I was - you were there with me.

I'm the worst reader. I never finish any books. Never! Ugh.

And it was a really good book too. I'm not ending it. I'm just adding other books. I'll come back to it eventually...? It's not the books. It's me. I'm noncommittal. Eek.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

You know that feeling you get where all of sudden you think that you've been going about this - life, work, thought, relationships, future, health - all wrong? That's me. Right now. I'm not sure if it has been creeping up on me or if it was instantaneous.

I usually respond to this feeling quickly - like putting a band aid on a cut. I'm not really letting anything heal, I'm just covering it up to make it better... Perhaps, this time, if I take more steps with more precision and right mindedness, then I will make a change and there will be no scar left from the cut.

Does this make sense?

One day at a time, I always say. Which is a lie. I never say that. I only tackle several days a time. And forget what life is really all about. Damn. Darn. Shoot.

Slow and steady wins the race. I want that to be my motto.

I need a bedtime.

I hope you always know it's true that I would never make it through 'cause you could make the sun go down just by walking away.