I started looking and the bubble burst

I've got to tell you what a state I'm in, I've got to tell you in my loudest tones, that I started looking for a warning sign.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. Yuck. I'm also buying new running shoes and accessories for the wedding. Better.

I signed paychecks today. That was big and important of me.

I go through cycles of loving and hating my job. Occasionally it happens within a 24 hour period.

Sometimes I feel really alone. I'm not. I'm always around people, actually. And I'm always busy - especially during the day. And then at night I'm tired. I just feel disconnected. Maybe. I don't know.

I talked to Alison, but she's in Atlanta. David and I chatted, but now he's out in the field. Matt is at work and I haven't talked to him in days. Kt is schooling and wedding-ing and we can't coordinate our schedules. Rachel is the only other person who works probably more than me and is also busy officially dating. Everyone else is going out of town. I am hanging out with my new friend Jill tomorrow night though. That should be nice.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

C.S. Lewis was a wise man:

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

Yeah, the truth is, that I miss you so.