i wonder sometimes about the outcome

... of a a still verdictless life.

Today started rough. Really rough. I sat on my floor and cried. cried. cried.

And I realized I really need to make some changes in my life.

And I wondered how and where I am going to end up. And with who and when.

And then I tried not to care. I can't. The future is too much. And it's not up to me. I have to let go and be determined for now. So I ran. ran. ran.

So what? So I've got a smile on. It's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.