Sunday, November 10, 2013

Well, everyone here knows about my meltdown this week. Meltdown. Breakthrough. Learning. It doesn't matter what word I use to describe it, I can honestly say it was a humbling and necessary experience. It's caused me to be a little more introverted over the last seven days, but it has certainly made me hyper aware of how blessed my life is.

And, as if that wasn't enough, it made room for me to hear from God. 

So, I will tell you the story...

This morning, I met Nate at City Church. I was late. We drove separately because I had to go to work afterward. On my way, I had to stop to get gas because my little light was flashing, then I got stopped by the drawbridge from James Island to West Ashley. Anxiety followed by defeat. But I got there during worship. I drank my coffee and listened to the message - sort of. My head was floating with life things - thinking of the past week, the one to come, and what I have been feeling and needing personally. So, I guess I wasn't really listening at all. (Sorry, Todd!) But, at the end of the message, the Pastor spoke to us about the prophetic prayer team at St. Andrew's. They usually meet on Mondays or Tuesdays to pray and receive knowledge from the Lord, then they pray for discernment, etc. At the main campus of St. Andrew's, they share these prophetic messages on Sunday, but never had before at City Church. This was their first week and they had seven to share.

They seemed specific yet vague, but full of hope for someone. Until we got to message six:

"For someone who had a meltdown this week. The Lord reminds you that He is on your side. It is your Father's greatest pleasure to help you."

And it my head all I could think was "Me. Me. Me. He's talking to me." So, I approached a prayer team member for prayer - I didn't really know what to expect out of it and I didn't really know what to pray for. Then, the man praying for me asked, "Do you feel like God is telling you anything?" I said, "I feel like he's just telling me I already know what I need to know and I need to trust him. Just to trust him." We finished praying and I sat back down. 

It's so hard sometimes for me to discern what are words from God or what are words I'm creating.  I sat there just thinking, what do I do? What is my next step? The pastor (who I haven't spoken to personally in over a week) came back up to give us some words and a closing prayer and he said,

"I just have this vision of someone who is driving with their gas light blinking on their way to the station. They're wondering if they're going to make it. Will they make it to get full and refreshed? And God is saying to them, 'Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.'"

Point taken.

When you feel like you're not sure what you're worth or what you're supposed to be doing - God is going to chase after you. Maybe it will be a thought. Maybe it will be a meltdown. Maybe a scripture. And, maybe, if you're like me and haven't been listening, it will be two public displays of prophetic words where He's saying, "I am here. I've been waiting for you. And I'm not going to let you feel lost anymore."

No comments: