I learned something new about myself this week.
It wasn't fun. It involved a lot of tears. It's going to involve some struggle.
I haven't been sharing as much about the inside of my head because mostly I've been pretty good. I know who I am, what I stand for, where I am going. (Sort of.) I changed jobs in June - that was a BIG deal, but I genuinely felt led to do that. I loved my Apple family, but I was no longer finding value in my job. Since then, it's been a roller coaster of life and learning a new j.o.b.
I've been doing a good job. I am successful at what I do. I love the women I work with who amaze me every single day. I love our guests who are up to crazy things. I find it unbelievable that I get to play on social media with more purpose than ever before. I like sweating all over the city and making friends wherever I go.
But, for some reason, it hasn't felt like enough in my head. I'm doing too much learning. I'm not doing enough of the right things. I'm not looking to charge up a ladder like I have been at every other job in my life. I've said no to work in efforts to keep personal life promises. Honestly, that's strange. I've spent the last 12 years of my life focused solely on working hard and making money. Multiple jobs. Overtime. Skipping some big life events. And now, well, my priorities have shifted.
When I look forward 10 years, the first thing I think about is no longer my job. It's my (soon to be) husband. It's our home. It's our family. It's our life sprinkled with the things I enjoy - yoga and coffee and blogging.
For so long, I found my value and self-worth in my career. And now I don't. And I'm having a really hard time accepting it because I'm not sure where to look for it.
Ok, ok. I know where to find it. In Him. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. He has come so that we may have life and have it abundantly!
I just have to focus on that. His love. His promises. His future He has planned for me. It's not about my career. It's not even about me. It's about Him.
Note: My boss is actually the one who helped me come to the realization and encouraged me to share it with the team! The support I receive both professionally & personally from my work family is amazing - and how I know I'm exactly where I need to be!