of course it is

'cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, i just didn't know what to do. - jason derulo

mm what'cha say? mm, that you only meant well. well, of course you did. mm. what'cha say? mm that it's all for the best. - imogen heap

the city never sleeps

so, there was a shooting on my street this morning. two houses down. the shots woke me up and now i can't stay asleep. fantastic. esp. since i didn't have to be at work until noon.

the road is blocked off and full of police doing investigating. i don't like this.

... better slip you an ambien.

don't believe those hungry liars

This past week was terrible.

Usually, when you come back from out of town, the week is always a little weird - you have to get back into the swing of things, etc. This was beyond that.

Retail nightmares. And personal catastrophes. It's too depressing to even go into detail here. I wanted to give up and leave this place and never come back.

At the end of the week, I was completely exhausted. I still feel slightly like a failure. I'm just trying to push through it.

B: its the weekend thoughand you're gonna be alright

me: ...

B: DOT DOT DOT

me: the retail world doesn't have weekends, silly rabbit

B: oh. have you ever thought about stopping everything you're doing and starting a diff career path?

I've experienced a lot of verbal therapy. It's been good. I've had quite a few people willing to listen and share my woes. I have good friends. Yep. And then that leads me to a whole other situation about my life and new people and the room I'm willing to make for them.

Are relationships supposed to just happen? Or do you have to work to make them happen? I know you have to work to keep them up, but should I have some sort of sparkly feeling on the inside when I know it's time? Or do I have to be patient and pour on the glitter myself?

Maybe I should just become crafty.

Anyway, I'm making a fall mixed cd. I'm also reading Harry Potter (finally - I'm on book 3). And I've been enjoying earl grey tea during the day. And Sleepy Time tea at night. That's all.

confession: I think dating is scary.

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. - Rafiki - The Lion King

My life is overwhelming sometimes. I spent all day yesterday wanting to cry. No good.

So what? So, I've got a smile on, but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Today I made myself some cereal for breakfast. Without thinking, I poured the milk in first and panicked. Then I noticed that you're still able to pour the cereal in after. MLIA.

LORELAI: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world. I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word. Poodle is another funny word.

EMILY: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.

LORELAI: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you’d have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, “Oy with the poodles already.” So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.

RORY: Oy with the poodles already!

LORELAI: I’m telling you, it’s knocking “Whatcha talking ’bout, Willis?” right out of first place.

“Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

- Barack Obama

i gotta feeling...

... that Oprah could take over the world if she wanted.

I know it's hard to say 'throw it all away',
but the odds are we'll be better off.
And it's a painful thought to try another start,
but the odds are we'll be better off. - Mute Math

Donald Miller: Million Miles Tour

it's so loud in here i can't hear a thing

i have a lot to look forward to in the next couple of months

including (but not limited to): my Mississippi adventure, the new Donald Miller book, going to Wisconsin to see Hanneke, Chicago/Hanson, Fall trip to Georgia, decorating my store for Autumn, switching from summer home fragrance to fall home fragrance, the New Moon movie, wearing hoodies, actually reading all these silly Harry Potter books...

and more.

there is always more.

and, while i'm sure i'll be exhausted by the time 2010 rolls around (hello two retail jobs), i plan on making the most of what's left of 2009. shine on, friends.

I can see you came to rock in your blue jeans and white tank top.

someday you will be loved

I had an interesting conversation about relationships today. And wondering - do most people believe there is one person out there you're meant to meet and be with forever? Or could you spend the rest of your life with lots of different people, but you just have to pick one?

It's just something to think about, I suppose.

And I watched a girlie movie tonight, so I'm extra inquisitive.

I forget how much I love Death Cab sometimes.

But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours." - Ayn Rand

for all we could and should be being

via papertissue

... in the one life that we've got. Pain on, pain on, play repeating with the backup makeshift life in waiting. Are we just going to wait it out? Sit here cold... just going to sweat it out?

and i've never felt so alive

This is how I looked this morning. Then I stumbled out to my car for my box of honey nut cheerios and IT FELT FANTASTIC OUTSIDE. I love fall-ish days. I'm in love. Really. I was gonna go to the gym, but not now. I'm gonna open all the windows and do the work I've been procrastinating because fall makes everything magical... even paperwork.

today was good. yep.

cracks in the temperature

The more you lose the less you see, so close your eyes and start to breathe. Oh, you said yourself, this wasn’t easy.