mushaboom mushaboom

mmm. Thank you Courtney for letting me steal this cd from you.

Feist - Mushaboom - Video

Update? I've been busy with work and friends and... sleeping/caffeination. I go to bed late and then have to wake up early and it's a vicious cycle.

Work has been so interesting... I love my employees. They are so awesome. I hope I convey to them how much I appreciate them.

Rachel, "Um, her name? Her name is... She's taken!"

But in the meantime we've got it hard, second floor living without a yard. It may be years until the day my dreams will match up with my pay.

so come over, just be patient, and don't worry

No, I don't wanna battle from beginning to end.
I don't want a cycle of recycled revenge.
I don't wanna follow Death and all of his friends.


And in the end we lie awake and we dream of making our escape.

every moment was so precious

Coldplay. Section 110. Row A. Hollaaaa.

just waiting 'til the shine wears off

Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost. Doesn't mean I'll stop. Doesn't mean I would cross. Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt. Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved. No better and no worse... Coldplay, Lost!

i guess it's not the way you always planned it

hello. it's me again. it's three days now that you've been in my dreams. and i don't know, i guess you've just been on my mind.

This is the Mr. and Mrs. Linda picture.

Linda was from Portugal. She moved here with her husband Joe who is retired military. She would come in the store every morning and drink espresso (sometimes three or four shots). We bought these little cups for them. She gave my mom and I little porcelain roosters from Portugal. She was so funny and honest. She would tell me stories about her life and about how my life would be. She told me not to hurry to get married - to do everything I wanted to do and be everything I wanted to be. She told me I was beautiful - inside and out. She was very sick and had a stroke, so she was hard to understand, but was worth every word to listen hard. She was a great woman, a wise woman, a loving woman, a caring woman. She kept going into the hospital and we saw her less and less, but then they would show up and we would talk.

Friday her husband stopped in... I never got to say goodbye.

goodbye. i'll let you go. i'll get back to life.

sometimes even the right is wrong

I love love love this cd. I can't wait to see Coldplay in November!

Lovers, keep on the road you're on. Runners, until the race is run. Soldiers, you’ve got to soldier on. Sometimes even the right is wrong.

it's always better when we're together...

more roo pics: here. here. and here.

just a puppet on a lonely string

You can listen to the entire new Coldplay album on IHeartMusic.com.

I signed up for this because Bonnaroo told me I should. I'm not even sure how it works, but feel free to load me up with cash (you can add to it like a gift card...). Plus, everyone should do it because you get a really cool card - mine is orange. And it's free... I think.

Be Generous on Facecard!

and this leans on me like a rootless tree

[I am in a Damien mood. I love his voice. And I love this song. Especially this version. Their expressions are amazing, too. I may have even posted this video before I love it so much. It's got some language, so don't listen to if you're under 18...]



And, you know, I would never marry Damien Rice. Not that I want to, but I think it would be wrong. I mean, what if Damien got happy? He's angry and unhappy and he pours that into his music. Marrying Damien Rice would be the equivalent of what happened to Alanis after she started dating Ryan Reynolds. I mean, come on, man! No more jagged little pills for anyone - how selfish! What would we do with no more Rootless Trees? Guh.

i say a prayer with every heartbeat...

There's a boy I know. He's the one I dream of. Looks into my eyes. Takes me to the clouds above.

I went to Rebecca's dance recital the other night and it has me listening to all sorts of crazy music - like Whitney Houston and Rascal Flatts.

I think low rise jeans are of the devil.

I also think that boxes are fresh hungarian pastries are in cahoots (is that how you spell that word?) with low rise jeans.

I like to go out to dinner and use parts of my meal to depict certain people and tell stories.

I cannot wait for Bonnaroo.

These past few days have not been good. I've been busy and tired and am now on my third contact that isn't any better than the first two. I fell asleep at 7:30 last night and didn't wake up until 8am this morning. And I'm pretty sure I still feel tired. Ack.

I do have Netflix now and that seems promising.

I don't take most of the pictures I post on my blog. I just want that on the record. This is from a girl I found on flickr! Her name is Leslie and I like her pictures.

I just re-read this and realized it wasn't very uplifting. So, I will also give you a poem:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e. cummings

How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet.

a prada dress has never broke my heart before

Today is not what I had anticipated. I should stop anticipating.

I did find a new book to read. I Was Told There'd Be Cake. Yup. I gave up on PS I Love You - again. I'm not in the mood for sad. I'm in the mood for satire and snarky.


I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley from Book Videos on Vimeo.

Later, I will go out to dinner with a friend and pre-sale shop at BBW. Then the busiest week of my not-college-life will ensue. Doubles everyday! Woop! And packing for Bonnaroooo. I can't wait. For serious.

I went to Starbucks earlier - to do payroll and read some of my new book. And a woman was breast feeding. I guess you're a woman when you have a baby, but she was probably my age. Maybe younger. The baby was adorable. But there she was (woman) sitting with her same age-ish (or younger) friend (who just found out she's pregnant) and her baby started to get fussy, so she whipped out some food from underneath her tank top and started feeding baby. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I mean, it's her chest. She can do what she wants with it. But she didn't have a blanket or anything, so she was just sharing it with everyone who came in and out of the store.

I understand the need to feed. I mean, I get cranky when I don't eat every couple of hours. I just think that one day, when I have kids, I will go to the bathroom or to my car or use a cover up. I'm not ashamed of my breasts, but they are mine. Not yours. My husband (one day) will also have some claim to them. And my newborn children. But I don't need to share them with strangers or the man who makes my coffee.

Just thought I'd share.

i've been learning to live without you now

... but I miss you sometimes.

These times are so uncertain. There's a yearning undefined and people filled with rage. We all need a little tenderness. How can love survive in such a graceless age? And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness are the very things we kill, I guess. Pride and competition can not fill these empty arms and the war they put between us, you know it doesn't keep us warm.

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter... I think it's about forgiveness.

(India. Arie, The Heart of the Matter)

meow

Today was good. good. good.
Sunday has a distinct possibility of good.
Next week is going to be INSANE!
I'm thirteen days away from Bonnaroo 2008.

New music: Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. I'mNotThere Original Soundtrack.

i lived it full and i lived it well...

I am a romantic. And I am idealistic. And I am a mess.

Disney, network television and film did not provoke this (though they often fuel it). I have been this way for a very long time. My mom and dad(s) told me I could be anything I wanted to be. That I deserved the best. That I could do anything I wanted to do. That I could have anything I wanted to have if I wanted it enough.

And everyday I'm a little closer to knowing what all those things are. I'm finding out by trial and error. My mistakes. Your mistakes. My successes. And yours. (Admittedly, also those of television and movie characters...) But they are all baby steps closer to who I want to be - to the life I would like to live.

I want my own happily ever after. I want to be extraordinary.

I want my future to be bigger than my past.

... as many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now. I'm ready now.

well, the rain keeps on coming down

... It feels like a flood in my head.

I'm tired, but not sleepy. Ack.

I just got home from second job. I like my second job. I spend a lot of money at my second job. Oh well.

I'm reading a biography called Fat Girl by Judith Moore. Sometimes it makes me cry.

I want to make a cd, but I keep getting distracted by other music. Aaaand I learned my lesson about putting song lyrics up on Facebook. Sheesh. Sorry for the confusion folks.

I'm listening to the Garden State Soundtrack. I love it.

And it's a winding road. I've been walking for a long time. I still don't know where it goes.

On Saturday, I'm going to sleep. sleep. sleep in. Maybe. Unless I have prior commitments that I don't remember.

I really would like some box macaroni and cheese. I have such strange cravings sometimes. Its too late for me to make that.

I need to make a list of things to do tomorrow - like go to Costco! Ah!

"A lap is an illusion." That's all.

And I can smell the ocean, the salt in the air. And I can see you. You're standing there.

barefoot in the shallow creek

... i've still got miles to go.

i want to know my fate
if i keep up this way.

it's hard to want to stay awake
when everyone you meet,
they all seem to be asleep.

and you wonder if
you're missing your dream.

you can't see... [Bixby Canyon Bridge, DCFC]

manolo and louis. it's all i'm thinking of.

Sex and the City Movie .Com

mine is about as good this far

Epilogue:

I finished reading The Geography of Bliss not too long ago. I forget to mention it. Perhaps, I meant to not mention it. I'm not exactly sure. The subconscious is a strange thing. Anyway... I finished it (finally) and was quite pleased with the lack of answers found in the book. I was also glad to see Asheville thrown in at the end, but am now fearful of it progressing. Go figure.

Here are some of Eric Weiner's parting words...

"... only a fool or a philosopher would make sweeping generalizations about the nature of happiness. I am no philosopher, so here goes: Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude."

"Of all the places I visited, of all the people I met, one keeps coming back to me again and again: Karma Ura, the Bhutanese scholar and cancer survivor. 'There is no such thing as personal happiness,' he told me [Eric]. 'Happiness is one hundred percent relational.' At the time I didn't take him literally. I thought he was exaggerating to make his point: that our relationships with other people are more important than we think.

But now I realize Karma meant exactly what he said. Our happiness is completely and utterly interwined with other people: family and friends and neighbors and the woman you hardly notice who cleans your office. Happiness is not a noun or a verb. It's a conjunction. Connective tissue."

"I'm not 100 percent happy. Closer to feevty-feevty, I'd say. All things considered, that's not so bad. No, not bad at all."

Hi. Me again. So, now I wonder, am I happy? On a scale of one to ten, where do I fall? Maybe these questions are why I chose to ignore the end of this book adventure.

I don't know how happy I am, but I'm pretty sure that I am happy. I'm not miserable. I have a wonderful family (who has their own crazy agenda), great friends (though they're dispersed across the country), a boyfriend who loves me (and lives two hours away and haven't seen in almost two months), my very own business (without a lot of customers), some money (not a lot, but most of the time it's enough) and, generally, I am busy enough not to notice any pain or impulsive enough to entertain myself through the nonsense.

Maybe I'm feevty feevty. All the happy things in my life have down sides, but if I can ignore those parts, then I'm fine, yeah? Yeah. I think. Don't think of endings. Only beginnings. Wait out the bad for the good. Ignore the bad? Not sure.

How can you not be happy in a life where peanut butter and strawberry jam Uncrustables exist anyway?

And I am throwing all my thoughts away. And I'm destroying every bet I've made. And I am joining all my thoughts to you. And I'm preparing every part for you.

you make me wanna...

today i had lemonade from chickfila.
i loved every sip.
i mixed it with iced zen tea.
and i loved every sip.

sometimes i'm just in really weird moods.
sometimes i'm crazy. and creative. and moved.
sometimes i'm not.
i'm slightly, oddly, personally motivated. uh.uh.

ashlee simpson - lala
the killers - on top
the la's - there she goes
coldplay - violet hill
sufjan - to be alone with you / all the trees...
sia - little black sandals
regina spektor - that time
iron & wine - boy with a coin
yellowcard - how i go
john mayer trio - another kind of green
postal service - brand new colony

i am so allergic. i can't breathe. no lie.
i would really like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
also not a lie.

la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la.

fearful eyes don't see very far

I don't know where we've been. Could you tell me where we are again? And Jesus is my only friend. No one else knows who I am.

(Maybe it helps to let the chaos out from time to time. by SylviaK)