you're beautiful. every little piece, love.
don't you know you're really gonna be someone?
ask anyone. and when you find everything you looked for
i hope your life leads you back to my door.
oh, but if it don't, stay beautiful.

yes. please & thank you.

I'm Alive - Kenny Chesney ft. Dave Matthews.

So damn easy to say that life’s so hard.
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars.

sometimes i like country. and i always like dave.

fall is like this

i've learned the truth is, everyone you meet will hurt you at one point or another. you just need to decide who is worth the pain.

i saw a blog post today that said "people do not care about you as much you think they do" and it made me sad. and i don't think it's true. i care. i probably care more than you think i do. and sometimes it's weird bc i become so involved in people's lives - i want them to be so happy they explode even if they've upset me in the past. i might be angry or hurt, but i always care one way or another.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

I have a love/hate (completely unfounded) relationship with John Mayer.

I just can't ever decide.

"The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope." - John Mayer

Make sure you read the article that quote was hijacked from.

i'm a satellite heart

Wisconsin/Chicago was wonderful.

It was beautiful and cold and full of cheese and I ran three miles in the freeze. And I saw HANSON. Also, I have fantastic friends. Really. I'm glad we manage to keep in touch. PS. I need to go back to Chicago and spend some more time there. I think I will love it even more if I spend at least 24 hours in the city.

Work is nuts. As usual. That's ok. I do love it. Most of the time. Though I do look forward to the day when I only have one job.

I can't wait for Fall trip to Georgia. I hate Georgia, but I love my friends. And fall. I can't wait to combine the two again.

I'm on Harry Potter 4 of 7. Seven, right? This one is taking longer bc I have a lot to do right now. I'm going to Columbia tomorrow to visit Rachel and eat Bee Bim Bop. Two things I love.

Hum. Lots of stuff going on that is unsure. And things I can't talk about. And that I'm just waiting to see what happens with...

Still working on a fall playlist. It's doubled in size. Woops.

I've got the new Donald Miller book. Need to find time to read it.

My ipod geeked out on me today and I had to restore and start over. Shit. This is taking forever. If it had died, I would have gone out and bought a new one in the morning. No lie.

I ramble when I'm procrastinating. How about that?

"... these things should be organic... free range love." - Tupac Tony

"I feel hopeful and grateful. For a while I thought we had lost everything. It makes you want to love better and live better and treat people better." And she [Michelle Williams] adds, "There is a great Gloria Steinem quote—and I'm paraphrasing—'Become the man you want to marry.' I've taken that on. What qualities do I find attractive, and can I find them in myself? What am I missing? Can I be that for myself?" - excerpt from Vogue

sometimes might knock me down

Every step I'm taking. Every move I make feels lost with no direction. My faith is shaking. But I gotta keep trying. Gotta keep my head held high. There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. It's the climb. - Miley Cyrus, The Climb

so, it's how the story goes

I'm burning Black Chamomile oil. It's supposed to help me sleep and detoxify my body. Whatever. I'm losing my mind. This week has been a blur. And I think all my days will be until I go to Wisconsin and then it will start again when I return. Things break. People get sick. I forgot a birthday. I remembered a birthday too early. Payroll. New employees. I have to move out of my house. Changes. Changes. Changes. Must sleep. I'm playing this game again in the morning.

Nobody cries, they just smoke and stare at their shoes.

of course it is

'cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, i just didn't know what to do. - jason derulo

mm what'cha say? mm, that you only meant well. well, of course you did. mm. what'cha say? mm that it's all for the best. - imogen heap

the city never sleeps

so, there was a shooting on my street this morning. two houses down. the shots woke me up and now i can't stay asleep. fantastic. esp. since i didn't have to be at work until noon.

the road is blocked off and full of police doing investigating. i don't like this.

... better slip you an ambien.

don't believe those hungry liars

This past week was terrible.

Usually, when you come back from out of town, the week is always a little weird - you have to get back into the swing of things, etc. This was beyond that.

Retail nightmares. And personal catastrophes. It's too depressing to even go into detail here. I wanted to give up and leave this place and never come back.

At the end of the week, I was completely exhausted. I still feel slightly like a failure. I'm just trying to push through it.

B: its the weekend thoughand you're gonna be alright

me: ...

B: DOT DOT DOT

me: the retail world doesn't have weekends, silly rabbit

B: oh. have you ever thought about stopping everything you're doing and starting a diff career path?

I've experienced a lot of verbal therapy. It's been good. I've had quite a few people willing to listen and share my woes. I have good friends. Yep. And then that leads me to a whole other situation about my life and new people and the room I'm willing to make for them.

Are relationships supposed to just happen? Or do you have to work to make them happen? I know you have to work to keep them up, but should I have some sort of sparkly feeling on the inside when I know it's time? Or do I have to be patient and pour on the glitter myself?

Maybe I should just become crafty.

Anyway, I'm making a fall mixed cd. I'm also reading Harry Potter (finally - I'm on book 3). And I've been enjoying earl grey tea during the day. And Sleepy Time tea at night. That's all.

confession: I think dating is scary.

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. - Rafiki - The Lion King

My life is overwhelming sometimes. I spent all day yesterday wanting to cry. No good.

So what? So, I've got a smile on, but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Today I made myself some cereal for breakfast. Without thinking, I poured the milk in first and panicked. Then I noticed that you're still able to pour the cereal in after. MLIA.

LORELAI: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world. I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word. Poodle is another funny word.

EMILY: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.

LORELAI: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you’d have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, “Oy with the poodles already.” So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.

RORY: Oy with the poodles already!

LORELAI: I’m telling you, it’s knocking “Whatcha talking ’bout, Willis?” right out of first place.

“Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

- Barack Obama

i gotta feeling...

... that Oprah could take over the world if she wanted.

I know it's hard to say 'throw it all away',
but the odds are we'll be better off.
And it's a painful thought to try another start,
but the odds are we'll be better off. - Mute Math

Donald Miller: Million Miles Tour

it's so loud in here i can't hear a thing

i have a lot to look forward to in the next couple of months

including (but not limited to): my Mississippi adventure, the new Donald Miller book, going to Wisconsin to see Hanneke, Chicago/Hanson, Fall trip to Georgia, decorating my store for Autumn, switching from summer home fragrance to fall home fragrance, the New Moon movie, wearing hoodies, actually reading all these silly Harry Potter books...

and more.

there is always more.

and, while i'm sure i'll be exhausted by the time 2010 rolls around (hello two retail jobs), i plan on making the most of what's left of 2009. shine on, friends.

I can see you came to rock in your blue jeans and white tank top.

someday you will be loved

I had an interesting conversation about relationships today. And wondering - do most people believe there is one person out there you're meant to meet and be with forever? Or could you spend the rest of your life with lots of different people, but you just have to pick one?

It's just something to think about, I suppose.

And I watched a girlie movie tonight, so I'm extra inquisitive.

I forget how much I love Death Cab sometimes.

But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours." - Ayn Rand

for all we could and should be being

via papertissue

... in the one life that we've got. Pain on, pain on, play repeating with the backup makeshift life in waiting. Are we just going to wait it out? Sit here cold... just going to sweat it out?

and i've never felt so alive

This is how I looked this morning. Then I stumbled out to my car for my box of honey nut cheerios and IT FELT FANTASTIC OUTSIDE. I love fall-ish days. I'm in love. Really. I was gonna go to the gym, but not now. I'm gonna open all the windows and do the work I've been procrastinating because fall makes everything magical... even paperwork.

today was good. yep.

cracks in the temperature

The more you lose the less you see, so close your eyes and start to breathe. Oh, you said yourself, this wasn’t easy.

i must remember to pick up this album soon. maybe next paycheck.

this is how my day went when i played it back over in my head...

sleeping. yogurt. peaches. hemp seeds. vitamins. coffee. soy milk. irish cream. caramel. skim latte. hot. iced. (it ended up a hot skim latte with 1/2 pump caramel - if you were wondering) work. customers. candles. black amethyst. octagon. leaves. fall. scarves. hoodies. pumpkin spice. cider. crisp air. apples. doughnuts. more coffee. tired. hungry. smoothie. shea cashmere. wall move. pizza. chinese. pizza. chinese. pizza. michelob ultra amber. two slices of greek pizza. closing. store support. wait. wait. wait. coffee. driving. texting. pizza. tony. pizza. dogs. cherry garcia fro yo. email. texting. cleaning. pineapple orchid. sour skittles. blogging.

hydration. finish cleaning. make a to do list. read. sleep.

i like this blog. and this song. and i'm excited for fall.

I'm realizing there are things I want in my life that I need to start taking action toward even if I can only take baby steps right now. An IRA is not enough, but it was a good start. Now I have to do something else... Slow and steady wins the race. Hmph.

Tonight, someone asked me where I saw myself in 5-10 years and I had no idea what to tell them. This was the first question of a three hour conversation.

So, now I'm thinking about lots of things. Yep. Good. Bad. All those things.

Btw. I'm reading Harry Potter and listening to the new Mute Math album.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

you were my world this tuesday morning

hindsight is scary at times, but such a beautiful view.

today had good things and bad things.

now i'm standing on the outside staring into daylight.

Sometimes life is best at 7am with iced coffee, a warm blueberry muffin and a friend.

turns out not where but who you're with...

so my laptop is playing dead.

or it could actually be dead. i'm not sure.

mj and steve have been so kind to let me borrow one of theirs until i get my shit together. so thank you to them.

i saw post grad tonight with rachel. it was good. and cute. and kind of made me think about my life. and what i'm doing. and what i'm not doing. who i'm spending my time on. and who i'm wasting my time on.

and about my quirkiness. i'm weird, man. i hope someone finds it endearing one day.

all very interesting topics.

it's been a long weekend with some excellent highlights (dinner for charles's birthday) and some crappy stories, but i'm too tired for specifics.

i'm going to bed now. gotta get up super early for coffee.

... that really matters... we'll make the best of what's around.

today i took a cycle class, cardio pump, and piyo. then i baked brownies and ran errands. then i worked from 1:30-10. now i'm doing payroll. and probably watching an episode of true blood. and tomorrow i'll repeat (most of) it.

it was productive. and i am exhausted. but content.

the end.

ps. happy birthday charles and rachael! you're fantastic.

(via adventures of mascarah)

and everybody only wants to fight

You're up against never being right.

stars - today will be better, i swear!
the decemberists - the engine driver

Sometimes, I'm afraid that I will just feel nothing after all the things that have happened - that nothing but a shell of myself will exist - because there is only so much a person can take before they become numb.

I hope that's not true though. I don't think it is.

When the worries of the world hold your feet and there's little left to believe in.

i dig electronic. this plays at work every so often and i love it.

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center. - Kurt Vonnegut

“I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in the one of the most beautiful cities in the world, we might as well have fun when we can, and save the serious stuff for later.” - 500 Days of Summer

via jessicachu.tumblr.com

“I don’t expect the great lengths; I just expect them to keep up with the details and the small things. I can get by on a text message—a lot of girls can. That’s all we want is someone to text us in the morning and say, ‘Hi! Hope you have a fantastic day!’ And then call us as night. Super-simple. It doesn’t take yachts; it doesn’t take big flashy things. It takes just knowing that they’re there and care.” - Katy Perry (on guys & romantic gestures in Seventeen)

I wear a Size 8. Thank you.

and now i cannot stop pacing

You know those moments where you feel like you've become the worst version of yourself?

That's how I feel right now.

I woke up too late to take my friend to the airport this morning. And yesterday I was half an hour late to my coffee date with some friends.

I've become unreliable.

Fuck.

There's an episode of Gilmore Girls like this:

CHRISTOPHER: Where were you?
LORELAI: Fruitlessly trying to rectify a ratty transgression.
CHRISTOPHER: Oh. You want some coffee?
LORELAI: No.
CHRISTOPHER: What?
LORELAI: What?
CHRISTOPHER: Well, I know you well enough to know that when you say no to coffee, especially in the morning, all is not right in Whoville.
LORELAI: Very astute.

(There's an episode of Gilmore Girls for everything.)

my birthday wish list:

1. influence by mka olsen
2. a new phone (ex. Samsung Gravity or something with a full keyboard & camera compatible with TMobile)
3. cook yourself thin
4. a cold brew coffee maker
5. the oc on dvd
6. cash (to pay off credit cards)
7. gift cards (for retail therapy - target, gap, express, whole foods, itunes)
8. and gas cards
9. movie tickets to see post grad
10. yet another fm transmitter

please and thank you.

and i wish you the best

I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic. - George Carlin

things about coffee

via scout.tumblr.com

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void.” - You've Got Mail

moving at the speed of light into eternity

I went to dinner with Charles and Myron this evening. Shine on Line Street is delicious. I had a nut burger. Yes, a burger made of nuts. Almonds. Cashews. Peanuts. Crumbly, but yummy. With tasty tots. And magic cocktails made from local honey and Hendricks Gin. Sometimes life is just the way you want it to be - too bad you can't keep those moments forever. Oy.

I currently smell like Sweet Fig and Aragan. I pushed the product so hard on customers today that I convinced myself that I loved and needed it as well. I'm too good at my job sometimes.

I can't wait to get paid and have my 120k mile service done and for life to be normal (or at the very least to slow down).

Work in the A.M. Lalala. I hope I wake up on time.

Watch this video. It's fantastic. One. Two. Three. Four.

"You want to know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong."

and there's no way around it

ack. ack. ack. ack. ack.

i just needed to get that out.

i really like twenty years by augustana. listen.

Could this be our last dance? Just fall asleep with the TV, darling. I'll be back again.

california here we come

we've been on the run. driving in the sun. looking out for number one.

i often think it's best for me to not get too attached to people. they have a tendency to leave. i would like to leave next time. i want to be the one who ends something. who says goodbye. is that crazy? mean? selfish? maybe.

i want to go to california.

every time i watch the oc, this happens.

it never goes away. it just gets stronger. and right now it's on demand. oy.

i would like all of these seasons on dvd please and thank you.

Ryan: What kind of music do you listen to?
Marissa: Right now, punk.
Seth: Yeah, I am sorry, but Avril Lavigne doesn't count as punk.
Marissa: Oh yeah? Well, what about the Cramps? Stiff Little Fingers? The Clash? Sex Pistols?
Seth: I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to kill myself.

california. californiaaaaaaaaa. here we come. oohhh.

and here we can rest safely

things i like today:
bananas
orange dulce tea with raw sugar and cream
flipsides - half pretzel & half cracker
"into the wild" radio on pandora
crossing everything off my to do list

i will not take the time to list the things i disliked because i do not want to dwell on them. and tomorrow is another day. with a whole new list of things to get done.

yep.

i want frosted animal crackers. (i am so susceptible to advertising and things with sprinkles...)

i told you to be patient

no matter how many times i hear skinny love (bon iver) i LOVE it. really.

i don't love customers who don't like to leave the store after we've closed. i don't understand them. they make me agitated.

strawberried peanut butter m&m's are good in theory. the execution of the idea left me wanting waffle fries and a big bottle of water. i dunno if that makes sense at all.

i was reading searching for god knows what at the starbucks on garners ferry the other day and i started to cry when i got to the chapter about jesus. he was so good to people. why can't we all be like that? our motivation is so screwed up sometimes.

i noticed things i missed about columbia while i was there. people. places. the conversation i had and that i overheard. but mostly i think i miss the free time. and i missed charleston. weird.

also, mute math - stall out. very good. always.

i like what you say

today i read that, on average, los angeles has 333 days of sunshine. and the average citizen of the city consumes 250 tacos a year.

(from bright shiny morning. he's lied before he might have done it again.)

you say, baby, i only want to make you happy.

she just goes stumbling through her memories

three years ago today ::

Dear Brothers & Sisters,

Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.

(paraphrased from James 1 - I found this in an old journal, but it's a mish mash of different versions of scripture and perhaps the person speaking to me.)

sugar will kill you

This week has been... interesting.

And today I made this.

And I think I'm going to be sick now.

The end.

and too much of a good thing, maybe not so sweet. well, what do you think about that?

you're different and i like that

my heart was beating slowly, at least it was until i saw you, and now it's beating faster as my eyes are chasing after you. - "california" audio summer

i'll find the words if i can just stop thinking

Twenty Life Lessons : : :

1. If you’re smiling right now, you’re doing something right.
2. It’s not so much what you say that counts, it’ how you make people feel.
3. The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re scared to make a mistake.
4. No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
5. Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
6. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance. You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work. But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Sometimes you just have to go for it!
8. Complaining is like slapping yourself for slapping yourself. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just hurts you more.
9. The one with nothing to hide is always the one left standing tall.
10. You can press forward long after you can’t. It’s just a matter of wanting it bad enough.
11. There’s a big difference between knowing and doing. Knowledge is basically useless without action.
12. In work and business, when they need you more than you need them, you have succeeded.
13. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective.
14. We are all weird. And life is weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we call it love.
15. True friendship and true love do sustain the tests of distance and time.
16. You can’t change who you are. You can only change what you know and how you apply this knowledge.
17. It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel.
18. Even when you feel like you have nothing, someone else likely has far less. Find them and help them. You’ll see why.
19. Having a thousand credentials on the wall will not make you a decent human being. But genuinely helping one person everyday will.
20. Remember, change happens for a reason. Roll with it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

via: thresca

a strawberry avalanche crashed over me

today was not particularly good.

nope.

and my jeans have a hole in them.

so i went shopping and ate chocolate.

and i'm listening to owl city because my employees say it's music that "just makes you smile". i particularly recommend : hello seattle, west coast friendship, strawberry avalanche.

i wonder why we are the way we are

you spend your whole life waiting,
but you don't know what for.
you have everything you need right here.
still you want more.

this is how we are fading.

you hold on to yourself.
you're afraid that you might get left behind.
and so you hide your eyes.
you're afraid that the lie will make you blind.
but it's time. it's time to shine.
yes, it's time to believe in what you know.
time to believe in what you know.
time to believe in what you know.
and you don't need strength to be strong.

Alexi Murdoch, Shine

ain't no use to sit and wonder why

daily dose of bob dylan

i am waiting until I don't know when

these are things from blogs that i like and wanted to share:

i am kind of strange

wear a mask & use different voices

i like to dream, as you can see

the power of a clean car (this is true)

leave your town & see the world

i would like it here (+ caffeine, of course)

a gypsy blog

It's not a lover I want no more and it's not heaven I'm pining for, but there's some spirit I used to know that's been drowned out by the radio!

looks like you're headed for a crash landing

i need coffee.

i like tuesdays. i get to go to cardio hip hop.

also, people continue to fascinate/confuse me.

that is all.

listening to schuyler fisk. you should too.

sittin' on a roof eatin' alligator pie

stella said, "daddy, when you gonna put me in a song?"

today. big whiskey. yessss.

the spotlight is on

home on the range

this is what i did today. akai took me to the driving range with him.

it's summer in the city

Do something nice for yourself today.

i can't stop thinking about you

cigarettes and coffee.
broken hearts and being lonely.
little girls and ponies.
the things that go together.
yes and no. you have to choose.
romeo and juliet. the hangman and his noose.

you and me would go good together.

shake me like a monkey, baby

stream the new dmb album @

http://www.pandora.com/davematthewsband

i'm the opposite of moderate

just live your life

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter." - Lewis Carroll

you're tying up your hair

today all my friends bailed on me.

literally. all of them.

luckily, i'm resilient and i like strangers.

long day. good day. weird day. i'm tired now.

xo.

... you're putting on your shoes in the dark. i bet you never though leaving me would be so hard.

LeftRightLeftRightLeft

pretty much my life
Originally uploaded by eringail

yep. this is pretty much my life in a picture.

right now i am highly caffeinated and getting ready for work - both of them. then tent revival at the tin roof. yep.

also, "I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can google it." yeah. i'm never gonna get tired of that line.

i bought the new magic hat summer ale. haven't tried it yet. hope it's good. gotta go. tgif.

it's strange when you feel nothing.

keep your hand in my hand

Kelly Clarkson : I Do Not Hook Up

A friend recommended this song to me. and it's not particularly catchy, but I like the lyrics.

"Of course you’re gonna get your heart broken. And it isn’t just gonna happen once, but a lot. That’s just part of growing up, and it makes you stronger. Then you can handle it better the next time. You may not get through it yourself, but your friends will help you through it. And you’ll be a stronger person because of it. Then, one day, someone will come along, and it’ll all pay off, and no one will ever break your heart again."

(both picture and quote are via : of vice and men)

all the surprises in a size too small

sometimes when things seem terribly wrong or i’m highly offended or life seems to be falling apart, i try to remind myself that “surely this is not the best God has planned for me.” and then i breathe a little bit easier and make a plan to move forward.

worry about nothing. pray about everything.

See more progress on: be encouraged

please and thank you.

you broke another mirror

customer [older italian man] : you have boyfriend now?
me : nope. no boyfriend.
customer : good. [leans into whisper] boys. they're all pieces of shit these days.
me : [laughs] agreed.
customer : they don't care and they want no responsibility.
me : you know, i think you might be right.
customer : i know. my oldest daughter lucky. she find good man. nice man. makes a lot of money. my youngest daughter, she wants none of it. not worth her time. not enough good men left. you take care of yourself first then maybe find someone good.
me : yes sir.

... turning into something you are not.

i hope i can find my forever a home

weird day. good day. quick day.

listen to this song: ben harper - forever

and if you love someone, then tell them.

this love is difficult, but it's real

I'll never understand.

When did it become socially acceptable to ask someone out via text? And really, please tell me, when did it become socially acceptable to tell someone you want them via text? I mean, really? Am I supposed to swoon because you tell me you want me through nonverbal communication? Knock me off my feet, Romeo. Yes, please, take me now. You can't come up to me and tell me in person, but you want me to hook up with you? I don't care how hot you are. That's not gonna fly. I don't think so.

This is what we call a "red flag".

I'm jaded and cynical sometimes. I've had my heart broken a time or two. And I've done it to other people myself. But I still believe in happily ever after. I know I bitch and complain about never getting married, but I would rather wait forever than settle for a text booty call. Maybe I'm just confused because things like this don't ever happen to me. Is this normal?

When did relationships become so "easy" and technological?

What happened to regular dating? To going out and getting know someone? I just want someone to like me and my quirks and to want to spend time with me and to think about me when I'm gone. Someone who likes holding hands and going slow and hanging out at coffee shops and reading books. Someone who loves music and art and wandering. Is that too much to ask?

Maybe. But I can wait if I need to do that. Yep. I can wait.

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring. He said, marry me, Juliet. You'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story. Baby, just say yes.

maybe the sun will shine today

of vice and men:

via unicornology:

yes, when he asks you in for coffee, you should say yes. you should follow him in through the door. you should be polite and funny and a little weird, and he will find it endearing. he will.

maybe i won't feel so afraid. i will try to understand. either way.

the wake up call to a rented room

“Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn’t mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It’s what you do to the people you say you love, that’s what matters. It’s the only thing that counts.” - The Last Kiss

... sounded like an alarm of impending doom to warn us that it's only a matter of time until we all burn.

i just can't get enough

"... The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time..." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

picture: via : of vice and men (via : thresca)

"We don't have much, but we're happy."

And it's just money anyway, right? Right.

i want to do everything and be everything and i can't.
i'm learning life things. i have new perspective.
one day at a time. i'm sorry if i mess up, but i'm trying.

don't believe those hungry liars

i like new music.
and i like strings. a lot. yep.

http://portlandcelloproject.com/
via : said the gramaphone

i must lay down a foundation of stone before i build a floor.

but the clouds are clearing up

i subscribe to 65 blogs. (it would be more but i lost my bookmarks once) and this is what i would like to share with you today.

moth's wings - passion pit

i hope you like this as much as i do.

via: johnmayer.com

come lay with me on the ground.

we will feel our way through the dark

i have a giant list of things to do.
i'm trying to both keep my new perspective and accomplish it all.
ack. ack. ack.

Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true. But just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy. - Pushing Daisies

today was a good day. glass half full. yep.

although i have begun to wonder if i should go on vh1's tough love. hmmm. i'm only sort of kidding. mostly kidding. i got time.

ps. today i was genuinely positive and happy. really.

i'll fold every failure into a crane

sometimes i like to change the dots on my page.

that's all.

i don't fall easy at all

songs i (especially) enjoyed today:

vega4 - life is beautiful
coldplay - strawberry swing
the script - the man who can't be moved
the script - breakeven
lisa hannigan - i don't know
sleeping at last - quicksand

I assume that your heart's been bruised. I'd like to know you. You don't know if I can draw at all or what records I am into. If I sleep like a spoon or rarely at all.

we frolicked about in our summer skin

via : i need a place that's hidden deep

it's a valid point.

i don't recall a single care. just greenery and humid air.

we'll make the best of what's around

see you and me have a better time than most can dream of
(she is wonderful. and so was our trip. happy twenty two years!)
turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters.